Have Faith
<><
xox

Below is a comment that came into my www shortly after I posted this blog.
It made me laugh out loud. Thank you Dr. G
I admire your poetry skills..  
With Love G.
​

Stay Tooned...
Yoda inspired me, did he... see & wait, must you.

 **** & very soon..****
A Free  downloadable & printable 'Valentines Day cards' cut out sheet & More.
7 mini Cannabis friendly cards! *1 for the fungi lovers thrown in!

Simply - Color, Cut & Convey your love to someone! 
I'd like to help you spread some love this month! TLC & THC   
At least give someone  a giggle!
When is the last time someone one gave you a home made Valentine!?

Have Faith
<><
xox

Just Keep Swimming! Just keep swimming...  
It's all we can do Dori!
Just keep swimming.  Who better to enjoy some seeweed than Dori - right? 
These scans so not do my work justice, the colors are so vibrant... Dori almost swims off the page.  She has - she is already on her way to a new home!! 
I have a friend, once she saw Dori she had to have her! There are a few Dori fans as I had inquires as to when she was going to be complete.  I do not normally sell my art but I had an idea & IT was a fantastic one!  I asked if she would be interested in bartering.  
I desperately need a new easel- mine wobbles, can’t be adjusted, I’ve had it since high school and it frustrates more than anything- we'll I have a new easel being delivered this week! Eeeeeeeeee!!! I can’t wait.  
I’m cleaning my painting room today! Canvas are getting ready.  
I could have just asked for payment but this way - I have a gift of an easel from my art & a friend!  How cool is that? To create more art with MORE TLC & THC. 
Hurry up Mr. Postman! 

Just keep swimming… Speaking of scans..  today I’m off for a MRI with contrast.  
To see if things have stayed the same or have grown OR have gotten smaller or disappeared! Right?? Positive thinking!! I’m on the best medicine after all.  My friend Steve tells me “I have much work to do..”  lol,  
I’m not happy, I don’t want to go, my neurologist argued with me..  I don’t see the point, if it’s nothing that can be touched anyhow.  Or nothing they can DO and I am still living with what I am.  I’m going, I promised I would. This time anyhow.
More on this when I get my results, I’m making cards for a very select FEW.   Stay tuned.

I’m also going to see my friend Jodie before my scan so that is always interesting.  We’ll most likely talk about everything but (lol) it’s going to be busy today.

Right now.. just keep swimming, just keep swimming..    it’s all we can do.
Swimming into the painting room! Oh, I tell you, when it arrives, I’m locking myself in my room for at least a week!  Imagine what will emerge.

Give Thanks!  It’s all good, I was waiting for a miracle.. funny - I expected one at Christmas, but got the call for this MRI 2 days later-  so perhaps this is it!
​Positive, Positive, Positive.

Have faith!!
xox <><​

I do believe in the power of prayer, so if you’re reading this, and would not mind -  send me up a few! Thanks!

Brain & Heart...  at it again.

Have Faith
<><
​xox

I got this! I can do this! I feel fantastic today!
​Already visited my favourite coffee shop- I draw 'sleeves' for them BTW.. if you want a FREE mini Georgia orignal-- lol  They look like this: 

Why? I  have fun painting  them, they literally take me minutes ;)  I use up my paint so I don't waste it! lol & I like the coffee shop and all the ladies, coffee, carrot cupcakes!  
The thought of some stranger taking a sleve and  seeing it & smiling - that makes me smile! I was at 'teaopia' the other day and had a great tea- but the sleeve when I got it - I was disappointed.. lol  
You have to be at Local & Import pretty early though, I bring about 3 to 6 sleeves every morning when I get my coffee and switch them up.  
Now, I'm off to see the brain Dr., her  finished painting below.. 
I feel great today- My mind is in the right place - full of hope.
That is all that matters.  
I am so grateful for all the people in my life who make me smile.
Thank you.  
​
Have faith
xox
<><

Mortgage insurance.. do you have it? 
We did and I want to educate you with our own experience regarding it.
*longish blog- sorry - I tried to shortened it .
​
When I started to get ill and could no longer work- even walk (pre brain surgery) I could no longer teach kids,  paint murals, anything and now along with being very ill  we started to feel the stress of  only a one income home,  I was getting sicker because of it. 
My Dr. asked ‘Do you have  mortgage insurance?’ I came home and asked Norm- YES! 
We actually did! & It was to our understanding - If  one spouse gets sick and can no longer help, the bank would pay off the mortgage!  So we ASSumed.

I filled out the papers, had Dr.s letters, from several including a couple of neurologists all stating I could no longer work-  We read the fine print and dropped the forms off at the bank. They came back DECLINED.
Although we have been married 22 years (at the time of applying) because I did not have a “Normal 9- 5 job that I went to every day-  I was not seen as a  $$$ contributor to the family home. In their opinion.
I was a stay at home mom and therefor I did not work.  wow. I was floored…  & I was still very sick and getting sicker. Everyone said - they knew that would happen, the bank never helps people. Forget about it.

I did - what else could I do.. 
I had the surgery, as you are aware - it did not work  BUT it did relieve some pressure and was a bit better for a while- it’s since progressed again ;( - anyhow—- I still could not work - i remembering crying thinking ‘even Walmart won’t hire me..” and we were getting into financial difficulties- as most people do when there is only suddenly one income.  Really bad, worried about losing our home bad.

It was a snowstorm, I was alone and crying- feeling completely helpless, defeated and very sick   I remember it so well -  I don't care WTF anyone thinks about this: 
 I heard it in my head, so warm and reassuring,  God said.. 
Get up! 
Get DRESSED
Go to the bank and MAKE them  listen.

I got up, got dressed, grabbed all my paperwork (now more from the failed surgery)
and walked over to the bank! It was difficult- I met a friend on the way and she gave me hug… 
I walked into the bank, found the manager and said something along these lines:

“That is it!  My husband and I are both very hard working people and we paid mortgage insurance our entire marriage and I fucking contributed  so much to this marriage it would not have  survived!  Here is my paper work- I am applying again!
 Decline me again - fine - the next time you see me it will be with a lawyer and the press & I want a response by the end of the fucking week!”

I put the papers down and left.

Listen, I do swear, and when my head is pounding it comes out even more… it is mostly frustration coming out..  I remember  she looked at me (I was friends with this woman in a way,  I was there the day the bank opened) she said “O.k. Georgia- I’ll send them in”
How dare anyone say a stay at home mom does not earn anything! We are raising the next generation! Hopefully with love- i had to stay at home also to look after Storm properly!  I did contribute over the years -  I made money and I would buy the groceries, help with bills, etc! 
Our entire marriage -  talk about inequality bullshit still! I was angry and with every right-  it was more of less saying I had no value all these years and I DID - I DO.

Norm woke me  a week later at 5 a.m. - “George, Something is wrong! - there is all this money in the bank account! “  
They had not declined this time.  I never heard a thing.. BUT-  they did not pay off the mortgage as one might think - they paid me for a couple of years ‘LOST wages.’ 
THANK you GOD! 
IRONICALLY - If I could go to work for a month- I could re apply and they would pay me again- IT is so fucked up - HOW could I work for a month? Still sick - at least, I could breath easier about the bills.      

It was enough to pay off ALL our credit cards,  bank loan- ( yep I know some you have them)  and pay off a chunk of the mortgage.. so it’s not what you think.  You have to be careful if you have mortgage insurance - you might never get.
& look what I had to go through for it.  They do not care. 

I am proud of myself - everyone told me don't bother, give up…  
We were literally weeks away from having to claim bankruptcy & losing our home.

The lesson I want people to understand is HOW can anyone say a house wife does not contribute to a marriage?   
That is BULLSHIT & something I would have not learned if we did not live through it.
So, if you are purchasing a new house - will you or won't you? I don't know what to advise. 
Norm goes to work every day and does his task.. I stayed home, raise Storm, educate, clean, look after the animals, cooked meals, gardened, created - the list is endless.  I think I have worked harder than my husband many days!  When I use to teach and had 10 kids at a time all day long- it was terrific! If I had the option- trust me, I wished I could work again.
Either way - with the help of God, I am not stressed anymore - we have things under control. I truly believe it was a miracle that day- that “GET UP - Get dressed and Go!” Stop feeling sorry for myself and make things happen.

Very recently, Norm made the same mistake and  pulled a  “No, it’s MY money..”  when we were having a conversation and I mentioned  ‘I wanted to purchase something..’  Our conversation quickly escalated into a heated argument and Norm has since regretted his remark as he f*cking should & I KNOW he is NOT alone.  It is too common. It’s not o.k. 

I know many men who think like this and it is terrible,  instead of celebrating, and treating each other as equals, nourishing each other  and celebrating what each other brings to the table,  a stay at home wife works just as hard if not harder than many moms I know who go and sit in an office all day.  I know there are woman who work very hard outside the home (probably getting paid less than men for the same work) 
BUT WE clearly are being punished for choosing to stay home and look after our families and there is no way way I will let anyone tell me - I am 'not contributing'. 
What Norm lacks - I make up, what I can't do - he can- IT is how it works, BOTH of us these 25 years contributing to a marriage, $  blood, sweat and too many tears.  

It won’t happen again. I am much wiser. 
Ladies & gentlemen - have this conversation with  your spouse EARLY.
Sort it out so you don't fight it out.  
READ the fine print - and IF you are right and YOU know it  - PRAY! 
& GET up! 
Get dressed!
GO!  

With God all things are possible.

I can actually start to enjoy myself a bit with our money, and am planning a vacation, very soon. 


Believe
<>< 
xox

Tomorrow back to painting and fun stuff! Wait and see! 

I'm struggling at the moment with a few things...  I do not want to have any more surgery and I don't want to have gamma radiation.  
I don't even want to think about it and it IS my body & life so - how will I live with what is happening is the question. 
​I've still not been given any definitive answers regarding what is causing this to happen, only suggestions on how to try to stop - once tried already and not successful and the other  has no guarantees either, possibly just more complications.

I am sharing in the hopes that anyone might have some information to offer- suggestions are welcome- unless your just going to TRY to SELL me something - don't bother.  Also it will help educate others  about Trigeminal neuralgia, semi facia spasms and compassion.  
The most difficult part for me often- besides the pain, never knowing when the attacks come and exhaustion- is others. People & their reaction to me.
& ME - me not caring what others think.
Me, remembering I am still very much me & more... I think I'm a new and Improved me :)
What does not kill us makes us stronger. Thor move over. lol 
Me trying to REMEMBER that  sometimes the people who are witnessing what I am dealing with, ONLY LOVE me, wish it was not happening and feel just as helpless as I do.
Me thinking friends will only see the twitch in me. 
Me.. :(   

Everything triggers it, movement and simply walking make it more active.  
When I sit and draw it calms a bit and I can forget  by being distracted  in paint. 
I have decided to draw only what I want.  
As you will see - and another reason I share- I can't quite keep up, its becoming more about quality than quantity for me with everything.  Even art -has become a new challenge (I am thankful and blessed to have!) but, this twitch can mess with me - as I paint details and suddenly my  brush hits the paper when I did not want it to.  I refuse to give in and let it consume- so I draw.  
If you don't have any advice to offer - I get that too... Please offer prayers and good vibes instead, that will be enough. 
* Note- I did not put on make-up - for who? I don't think I even brushed my hair. 
If you want 'pretty, faking all is o.k.' - go some please else.  This is my real life. 
It's not always pretty but it can be pretty terrific at times!

Child of God you were created to create!

The clip ends with my terrific bird "Bird" who makes me smile.. more on him tomorrow, 
 a new painting - Mexican proverb.
 Spring ! The first day of SPRING is Tomorrow!  
Oh my Gosh, what am I doing on here... time to toon! 

https://vimeo.com/159510266 < video of me

​Believe <>< xox

Too much.
After Yoga today, I was laying there in dead stump pose, Storm walked by and commented
"There is a Yoga pose even I can do".   I did not even realize the lesson was over. 
Todays lesson stretching for beginners and it was something.
I sat up.. looked at the T.V. Screen and this is what was on it:

Yoga had me in tears today.   Fill Your Life With people you Love  
I don't know what did it more  the physical stretching parts I don't think have been stretched in a while it seems. The frustration from time to time of NOT even allowing myself 25 minutes without thoughts entering I don't need to have enter. Or the reality of the past few days & what I have to contemplate on.  
It knocked me out on my purple yoga matt.
Storm started to ask me questions as I sat on the floor  looking UP at the dark screen with white words.
They stayed there, I don't even remember him saying Namaste!
I couldn't answer... I felt bad. I was choked up with tears.  He gets it. I got a hug. 

A confirmed appointment and I feel  tension again, on 4/20 of course.
God help me.  Everything for a reason.  

I am tired... I am out of water color paper but I did put in an order with Deserres,  & my friend Linda, so tomorrow I should be painting.
Tonight, I think I'll sketch a few ideas I'm working on.

Too much speaking, explaining & thinking has my mind full. 
Do what you love at it will bring you some peace.  
It does make me smile to know some are getting originals this week  & makes me want to paint more. & I have more going out, I hope to actually be caught up by the end of March. 

Tomorrow is Friday & I celebrate the weekend  with a bit of wishful thinking ;) 
I think that is good  too sometimes.  I wish I was a  CD launch party, lol ... doesn't everyone?
I wish I was at a Millie Madness event, I wish I was over in Europe visiting some friends, I wish I could learn how to paint 'space' in water color better & and octopus or two..  that I can do.

Believe
xox  <><

 'It's been a great day to celebrate! My pal Linda popped over! I commissioned her to make me a gift for my Russian friend! I can;t show you what--  Linda is Silver Wind Studio on FB, and its always a good visit! Her bead work is really beautiful - have peek.
Linda brought me some items from my friend Kat's of Kat's Gallery! Haha! I cant show you them either! Both are gifts & I cannot spoil the surprise. Kat does all my framing for decades - wait until you see the framing on the work... I can show you Hunters!

The very talented young man- Hunter_ (cool name if I do say so myself), a friend I made on instagram drew this little beauty, I wanted it kept small and simple, not to take anything away from the art. We love it.  It is Storms, but I think we'll​ hang it in the living room ;) What talent so young and it's in his heart you know it!
I can't wait to see where this young mans talent will take him!
Today, I celebrated by NOW meeting and exchanging art with a young friend in Taiwan,
I also put together a little 'Easter Basket' for my Russian friend! What fun!  MUST mail tomorrow!
Speaking of mail... I know a few are waiting and I am thrilled to say 'by the end of March I will be all caught up! All mail will be gone - all art sent! Wood Hooo!
​Celebration Time  -woo hooo!

I have been very busy - working on several projects -I know I do it intentionally I even accepted - two- no -3 ! 3 custom orders- I cant share again - they did not get them yet- so YOU will be seeing a lot of art work! One order I painted a little bonus - because I can. 
I am blessed to sit here and draw and paint and be serenaded by a little bird all dat.

Tomorrow I return to the Dr.s for the results of incredibly long MRA - dye injected to run through the veins to show problems in the veins and aneurysm  and such.  I really hope they do see the problem and can possibly make a few suggestions that I feel will be positive.
Anyone who reads this blog knows words I am not fond of either- so...   I said to my good friend  "What if they don't find anything" - and she said "how can they not!?"  
How can they not... look at me .

Yes, How can they NOT!?
Prayers are appreciated.
I don't know what to do other than to do what I'm doing...
I don't know the direction life will go. 
Tomorrow is a new day- either way talk about timing - two days later is my birthday!
See, it's the month of celebration and there  is more! Every day something!
Something so great happened the other day I told Linda- "
I expected to wake up and this be gone too! A miracle!  
I am open to receiving. 
I believe.  
xox

2016 is here. A year of Choice & Change.
The first song I choose to listen to today is Let it Be.  
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, we can't control much except really our own thinking. 
This year as you are aware was a year of pain seeping in and out from April on, with the death of Jim. I miss him. It is what makes us who we are, all I have to do is look at Elly & the kids to see how they have 'evolved' and watch as the love they have for each other - and us - keeps it all together.  We will STILL have times where our hearts will feel the sorrow.
Thats what hearts do. Jims heart still beats.
* Please continue to educate people who GOLF on the dangers of Golf carts. 
He saved others with his death, I've decided to choose - when my heart aches from now for Jim, to simply remember that smile and draw something.  I am so excited to see what the future holds for Sie & Logan, they are such wonderful humans - Give Thanks!  

​Every lesson is a Miracle from God.
That lump that was removed from the back of my neck was  from infection & I am in less pain now that it is removed.  Amen! The entire experience, I was not worried, I knew it was going to be o.k., know why?  - I have faith.
I was so calm, thinking back that entire procedure. I was in Gods hands & fear is incapable.

I told Linda just yesterday - I am thankful for what has happened to me - STILL...
it makes me tell people I love them! It is my purpose, lol  -how simple is that - it's not. 
I have found I am not met with the same response all the time & it's o.k., I get it. 
The biggest change for me in 2016 is I Choose NOT to apologize for some things- like telling people I love them. If I feel it- I'm saying it.  
It has brought jealousy, which kinda blows my mind - because I think - if you could see me- you would not be jealous.  
It has brought confusion...  I am not after anything.  I do not NEED anything.  Amen.
I send originals to people - and forget. lol   I just feel for whatever reason - some people deserve some extra TLC. & I can do it!  I can afford postage. Start there.

I'm done over thinking, if it is based on love I'm doing. 
OH, don't get me wrong-  I have my few - that I bug - well, I feel compelled, send a message - to the point I think 'Georgia - don't.  SCREW IT! I'm not doing anything wrong, only in others minds.  I have such wonderful friends, not many but those that are make me feel normal, special, loved. Little things they do and say- are HUGE, I'm not sure they get it - they are the ones  who inspire me even more to express the love I have and thank them for being Good Humans in a world full of not so nice ones. 
YOU know who you are - I TELL YOU. ;)  THANK YOU.
Just thinking of some of you puts a smile on my face!!!
I will talk more about those I love this year.

I won't apoligize for my health. It takes everyday with his condition to get up and CHOOSE to have the best day possible. In March I get my results from all the tests and the Dr.s have had enough time to discuss.. March is a month of incredible change for me and mine. The timing of events - Not my choice - is meaningful.  More in March.  
I am thankful for what has happened.  Everyday I am confronted with the thoughts of Death- I'm almost becoming death obsessed -  I am being shocked into reality literally, at least 20 'Doozies' a day.  I will never apologize for it again.
I choose in 2016 to EMBRACE it.  
What ever comes Let it Be - I STILL have the opportunity to choose how I live each day.

God has made it so I can sit here and draw, I plan on doing exactly that - with some crafting, painting & papermache! EVERY day ALL day! Wait and see. 
The start of every month will be with a drawing just like the one above...
A positive message and todays is perfect! 

I am not a body I am free, I am STILL who God created me to be.
Child of God you were created to create!!
GET BUSY!

 Believe < new word for 2016
xox  <><

​

 I've been up since 4! Peep too! 
It's Friday the 13th, it's going to be a great day!  It is the last time I am having an MRI.
I made up my mind. It is the anniversary of my surgery... which didn't go as successfully as we had hoped.
​                                                I'M still hear MF! LOL!!!  

I love what I do! I am surrounded by love - 2 legs and 4 and I have friends all around the world whom send me loving vibes all the time and some right around the corner who also provide loving hugs! Bring it on!  ;)                          Right!!!

Then I'm coming home to draw! A new Laughing Buddha!!!
Thank you anyone & everyone for your prayers and positive vibes.
I believe in the power of prayer!!!

Let it be. Time  to see.  <>< 
Until tomorrow! 
Have Faith xox

*Want a sneak peek on an article a friend wrote. She was not a friend until we spent the day together, for this very honest (yikes) interview.  We sat and chatted. I read it and think..
'I am so, you know... Canadian.'  lol   IMO. ;)  More on  the interview tomorrow.
Have a terrific day!

http://www.prohbtd.com/stories/why-art-is-personal-for-georgia-toons_

It's Friday and it's been a long week. 
I had anew neurologist appointment on Wednesday, I said 'I was done', but I was asked to consider and 'why not just go' , was what all started saying. - so I went. 
What can I say?  I had a very emotional day yesterday - happy to be home alone - but missing my son big time as he fishes in Ottawa somewhere.
I just needed to process the words discussed.  
I really liked the Dr., she was female and I will say - it was the most thorough exam to date.  She did not look like a Dr. at all - I got a vibe - she is a woman that knows how to kicks ass when need be - powerful. I liked her.  
I did not enjoy most of what she was saying...  talks of why didn't I have that one where they inject the dye!?  YOU know why!  If you follow the blog ;( Lies and mistakes.  
A  new date for this test will be booked.

Why hasn't anyone stayed on top of that lump they found in your brain?
I forgot about that...  I was told after the FIRST MRI  when this started they also saw a growth.  Another MRI - let's compare.
NO, it is NOT MS.  (I was worried - and thought I'd ask outright)
No, my vein in my next will not 'snap', from pulling so much - I think I've asked before but it sure feels like it - so I asked again! lol
Medication, Radiation, injections...  and I am more exhausted than I was before I arrived to the appointment. I have much to think about.
It was also difficult as all else there were old people. lol  Says the 51 year old woman.

I will take a few more tests and decide as I GO ALONG this path. I will decide.
Just me. My life. My head. 

It was the first appointment I had Norm come with,  he has a clue of course but had a rude awakening when actually sitting with me listening to the Dr.,  and denial is no longer an option. Right away he said - 'well, if the radiation can help..'  he then got the LOOK. 

So - what happened 'great' from all of this?
I no longer give a rats ass about Walmart or anywhere else. LOL 
I'll never let myself get stressed over them again!
I am here to draw - it is what I love to do! & I can and AM!  
Crying only makes my face wet and triggers my twitch! 

I told her and looked at Norm: "I'm not so fun to live with all the time..."
She said, she did not imagine I was and could completely understand why.
It still does not make it any easier ;(  I'm not fun to live with all the time.
Pain does take over & patience is lost - especially with those closest to us. <3
Thank God - they love me to bits! I know my guy love me - I've no doubts. ;)

I won't be distracted, By FB, Google, PIN or Instagram! (hee hee loving it btw- georgia.toons) I don't need to be apart of 'clicky little groups' - I am a part of the group who cares about the planet & each other - ALL OF US.  Even the ones who don't use cannabis! 
I have one boss and I was just reminded to GET BUSY.
New cannabis cartoon tomorrow -
***The last time I'm drawing 'what kills more kids than cannabis'!!  
Because it is the last. No more needs to be said.

What am I creating:
Stuff for Thanks Giving!  
An old dog gets  anew paint job and life!
Coloring pages! Cannabis and more!
A Poppy cut out  & coloring page.. 
Painting Norms Birthday gift! 
Halloween coffin blow out - lol  & more.

Have Faith!  <><  xox
Stay tooned! 
​

Poppy! Ready for action and service!  
I am beyond excited and thrilled! So much so  - I got dressed up today! lol
Poppy and I are going OUT!  
I was going to start this blog with I have good news and I have bad news..  the bad news being my condition has progressed,  I rarely get breaks and never know where or where an attack/episode  will come, but screw it! It's all good news! I'm still here and now able to get out and about again! Hopefully before the weather changes.
Its agreed  & Poppy is official with Dr.s papers and all. 

I wish I was not ill but I am and it's not going away.. so I better try to live with it. Simple.
Easier said than done when you're out in public become  frightened, wishing I was not having an attack in public, people look and often I see a kind of fear returned.
I stand still and I find my hands go out as my balance starts to wobble. 
* WHY Poppy is  Always clipped to my belt.
I don't I just need to try to ride it out, it only escalates when I'm alone.. so I stopped going out alone.  I can't expect Storm to take everywhere and I do want to go into few stores...  I have no intensions of going IN to restaurants with Poppy, but will sit in a patio - next summer. I mostly want to bring her to the library! I have trouble there.. I guess from bending over looking at books. I've already cleared it with them and cant wait for our first visit! 

At home when I have an 'episode' Poppy is on my lap, she climbs and 'kisses' me -  its the only time I get kisses .lol  I know my breathing becomes irregular and I stiffen up - I'm not sure how she knows but she does, often with minor episodes she'll just turn and look at me (while on my lap) more or less to say: o.k.?  I reassure her "I'm o.k. Poppy" and she puts her head back down. ;) She brings me back - zones me in.   I can look at her , pat her & the next think I'm focusing on her and the fear is gone. 
So why shouldn't I be able to take her with me!? 

It started a few months back when I tried to go into he dollar store (I had Poppy in her sling - not walking) and was told 'NO'.  The dollar store? I have seen kids in there who run around snot nosed,  touching everything - Poppy?  Please.  Anyhow, I have that woman to thank, she started the ball rolling. 

I am also designing a coloring sheet! Sure enough it happened yesterday, a little girl wanted to pat her & mom said no. Moms should always so no - you need know if the dog will bite, but the mom did say: "no, thats a working dog.." the little girl put up a fuss, so I explained and all was well.  Mom thanked me and off they went.  I don't want poppy touched or addressed.  I need her to focus on me. 

I already take Poppy to a Dr.s, for my appointments.
She never gets off my lap, she does not care where or why she is anywhere.
Understand  the dog does have to behave. 

Ask and you shall receive... sure enough, next thing I knew I was working on a logo for a woman in California in exchange for Poppy's custom vest! I needed something small. Had SERVICE so people understand do not touch, and comfortable for Poppy! 
I could not find anything on line * especially because of my hands not having strength, It needed to be strong velcro! April of California Chi  did an amazing job! I hope she is as thrilled with her logo!  She is on Facebook check her out!

Were on a mission now! 
Out and about with Poppy! I want to make this pleasant and have entered, asked and introduced.  Keswick is a small town - there are only so many places we can go. 
Yesterday it did my heart good. I hope to educate simply on people sometimes do need to have their pets with them. My canine  companion. It's off to the dollar store soon. ;)
I even had the vest designed for easy lifting. 

So stay tooned! Im a about to blog with my little dog! Before the winter weather has us captive in our  cabin! 
Draw a few cartoons and  design the coloring sheet.
Oh and did I mention she ALSO has her border crossing papers! 
Woot Woot! More on that too... 
Thank you California Chi! April and God for bringing it all together ;)
Have Faith
<><

It's a new day.. I need it.
What a blessing  - each new day a new start. 
Today like every day I start with asking: 'o.k. what do you want to teach me today?'
I should not have asked. lol 
I see how 'Jared of Subway Fame - you know the guy who lost all the weight - eating subs..
 is now going to jail for being a PEDOPHILE - and guess what - he might only get what Todd got- for growing plants. Ruin a mind of a child for life and get a couple of years. Grow plants to help ease minds.. get several years and some serve a LIFE sentence! 

Then I watch how the FDA approved a new  drug for women and could be coming to Canada near you! It does not mess with the body - like a man  viagra- it messes with your mind instead.  Watch the interview... I am so glad 'his rats are frisky', go to his professional page and see he is paid  by these companies.  ?  Come to your own conclusions.
He actually says 'it puts the brakes on part of your brain',  and it STILL really depends on the person. How many women will suffer from side effects- God forbid they don't happen as you sleep like they recommend you take the medication... & you have to take it for months in advance. $$$ long term customers.. Is it addictive?  
       "The FDA loves the idea of a sexual satisfying encounter"  This made me LOL when he said it. WTF!? Isn't that special. Perhaps the FDA should fucking focus on our health. FOOD & Drugs and not our sexual encounters,  he states "interestingly they all come through his lab".  ?
Yes, that's of interest.  It should be, shouldn't it?
A conflict of interest- we hear/read about it all the time now. 
Am I making this stuff up? 

The FDA still passes pills that they know kill. We read about it every day and many we don't dread about.
For those small percentage that  might have an adverse reaction - oh well, too bad, so sad.

You decide.. Norm and I we know how to  romance each other - Not with pills.
When we do struggle - we still don't think it's worth the side effects- all relationships struggle.  The choice is yours but hopefully YOU will READ the WARNING labels.

More reading on the topic: http://www.vox.com/2015/8/18/9173067/flibanserin-female-viagra-science  
here also: 
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/02/16/384043661/female-libido-pill-fires-up-debate-about-women-and-sex

My friend Ivan Art put it best:

it's now 9:11 a.m. and I'm turning on my music and off the computer - drawing about nature and what else Birds.  I will go out back to the patio to paint and  pray & perhaps a bit of play with my girls! New news on Poppy! She is two now you know!
**If you want one of Ivan's post cards instead of mine- send me a e mail message. 
I have a couple I'd be thrilled to mail out! This above will be one!  
Time to paint draw!  
Have a creative day.
Have Faith!  
<><

It is father's day and Storm has taken his dad fishing for the weekend and I'm thrilled. He is old enough - if he wants to share events of his fathers day with his dad, he will.  Storm and Norm have a good relationship already. All  the 'boat bonding' has helped! ;) 
 My dad is gone, I think of him off and on.. I pray fathers day is not too hard on others on my mind and in my heart, who no longer have their dad with them.  
It is just another day. If you have been blessed by a good dad - they are with you always.

It's just after 11 and it's not been a good day, a reminder of why I'm ready to share.
It's overcast, I've been up since 5 and it's taken me this long to  fell good enough to blog. Physically.  Blogging takes thought and effort - especially on the more difficult days. 
Let alone a difficult blog.  

The video I posted was one recorded while at my desk drawing.  Although I have constant twitching/zapping and mini jolts of pain,  I have added attacks that  come at any and all times (except sleeping).  Recently I was told we can't find anyone to help.  I can tell you hearing it' and thinking it' are  different things and although I thought I was prepared - I guess I was not and the thought of living like this  everyday became suddenly daunting again.  If I let the idea linger in my mind for any time tears flow.  

Try to take anything you like to do - cooking, drawing, reading and take a pencil and jab yourself in the head (causing your eye to constantly shut closed) every few seconds (*several times a second) and continue your task.  5 years...
Now add to that the added  sessions where you  heart races, your head pounds, your brain can't seem to do exactly what it was doing so carelessly only seconds before, you get a sharp stabbing pain that goes from the top of your head to your heart - Like you've been impaled 
suddenly and it repeats, quickly, several times over.   My face aches so much I have wondered if this is what done cancer must feel like ;( .  It  makes me stop & hope I make it out the other side. EVERY time. That alone messes with my mind daily.

Let alone how it feels- LOL HOW t looks? PLEASE - when Tyra banks is being hailed because she appeared without make-up -  Finally! - But PLEASE! Big deal Tyra.  When in attack, I can't swallow my food, I can't chew, I drool not to mention one side of my face is contorted to one side.  Pain is obvious.  Make - up.  I could care less bout make-up.

What do I do? Do I take serious narcotics - that  will just numb me down, Ive tried pain pills - during this - the odd one here and there and all they do is take me somewhere I DO NOT want to be... depressed on the sofa.  Pills only add to my balance issues,  after reading more on the woman who was knows as a 'wobbler', it worried me -  when I'm walking mid attack I too have that exact sensation - of wobbling in my head and you see it in my balance - I start to stagger. I never new the other condition existed.  It WAS caused by a medication she had been prescribed.  I think about this all the time since doing some research and learning about Tardive Dyskinesia:
https://www.power2u.org/articles/selfhelp/tardive.html


Heres the thing... did you know there are medications that have serious side effects.
Not everything works the same for everyone and do you want to be a statistic?
If not for my son, husband and few who show me love and support, listen and share this madness the past few years - I don't think I would still be here. 
I would not wish this on any other human.  READ SIDE EFFECTS OF ALL MEDICATION
Trigenial neuralgia is on the increase. You tell me why? 
The more I read - the more I will stick to CANNABIS.

*ADD stress to this mix and  look like I am having a stroke.  ;( My pain  and exhaustion overwhelm, I go from chair, to bed to gazebo mode. Usually it takes 2 days just to function again. By function I mean  draw, do dishes, straighten up - not getting high and having party.  

Rona Ambrose, Health Canada,  Steven Harper, Peter Van Loan  turning Canadians into terrorists against each other with their lies, propaganda and  bulling well thats just the 'cream of the crop'.  <Simple. All, literally make me sick to my stomach, as I read about little baby girls dying in Canada., while her mom fought  to access her  cannabis for her seizures.
Judging people on what they choose to help them heal!?  Forcing Canadians no other alternatives but pills, PROVEN to hurt  and even kill.  

Here is the link of what I am dealing with. 
https://vimeo.com/131096980?utm_source=email&utm_medium=clip-transcode_complete-finished-20120100&utm_campaign=7701&email_id=Y2xpcF90cmFuc2NvZGVkfGYwNGJlNDRmNTI2ZmI2NTE5ZGEwZGYzNDJhYWFlM2JkMjAzfDQxMTkzNzU4fDE0MzQ2MzkyNzB8NzcwMQ%3D%3D

 If you know of anyone that it might help - please share.  I believe - Cannabis keeps me going. It keeps me creative and helps me focus on all that can be good.  I don't wan't or need anyones pity. I hope to bring awareness.  I do ask for continued prayers and  good vibes.  I get so emotional after each attack, I have also learned how to ride them out as calmly as possible-  I don't like to  worry  my guys all the time.  I don't know,  would help everyone if I did what my body wants  to do -  hold onto my head and scream, curl up into a ball until it's over? I don't think so.  

All I can do is keep learning what I love, painting, drawing & creating  - it is how I change my brain.  It is how I excite my brain.  Focus on making fun/beautiful items instead of dwelling on ANYthing negative. I am walking better! Poppy has accomplished that! She loves to walk & lead me- she is so well behaved and I'm proud to take her out. For now - that is enough.

Tomorrow it is back to painting and life. 
xox  Have faith  <><

I'm reading a book I picked up from the library:
  The brain that changes itself.  
Page 9 has me tearing up. This woman understands, I think to myself. Not yet finished the first chapter and I am excited  - beyond. I'm reading things that sound like  what I have been living with for over the past 5 years.  I feel hope. 
I was told Dr.s can't help me anymore. I guess what I was told was Traditional Western Medicine can't help me anymore. 
New thinking can. 
I was really excited about one Dr. and thought I'm going to e him! - only to find he had died :(  Thank God he started and planted the seed he did.

Tomorrow I have decided to share a vid. I made for Dr.s  to see what I am experiencing. 
It is an attack that I get when just sitting. It is incredible pain, constant zapping and when done - I feel exhausted. It happens all day  every day for over the past 5 years. It drives me crazy - I'm working, painting, drawing living and I have this constant poking in my head.
It also FEELS much worse than it looks. I have learned to sit almost still and ride them out, one because they are so common and 2 because I don't want my guys to see how bad it is.
Simple. 

What stops me is VANITY.  I was thinking - someone will turn me into a memee and it will be a FB funny. Oh well- Then, I am still making people smile. Right? lol  
That can not/does not hurt me. What hurts is this constant zapping all day.  Its 8a.m. I've been up since 6 and my face is throbbing - time to seriously start medicating.  
This - has made me stronger. 
The only fear I have is the fear of  leaving my son/husband- I know that sounds 'selfish', but I also know Storm is a strong, smart and will be fine. He will do what he has to do. Norm never stops, Norm will never stop.  ;) 
It plays on me & how can it NOT!?  I am literally zapped hundreds of times a day with a few doozies - that keep me wondering if 'today's the day'.  
So, I'm putting it out there... tomorrow.

I'll include a link for you to see of what my daily life is like has been the past 5 years +
not for pity but to raise awareness.  DID you know there are medications that cause terrible side effects that DO NOT GO AWAY.  If anything - If I make people think- read the side effects - search for healthier alternatives - then that is the purpose.  
Today is a warning I guess.
Some would rather not know or see. You see it could easily be... you.
That's o.k., You have to be where you are. xox  

Today I paint my first bird! 
I've learned I'm partial to passerines! LOL!  
Today I continue to change my brain! 
Today God gave me another day to have some fun!

Have faith xox  
<><

It's time. 
A better understanding is needed. 
Men are not mind readers & the majority of people do NOT 'get it'. until you explain it to them.  

For the past 6 years I have suffered with a twitch.. in my head, pretty much constant that progressed & strengthened into such pain, I could not walk or focus. I had surgery and it was not  a complete success. It did remove a ‘Blockage sensation’ in the front of my head I had.  It never went away and in time had  steadily increased in frequency and 
in pain. It is 10:30 a.m. and I’m ready for my nap. I am up, usually at 4... it takes me a while to get medicated and calm my twitch. It is so strong in the a.m.  I can be hungry and the pain goes right to the pit of my stomach, the thought of food suddenly has me gagging.

I try to read. I TRY because it is physically maddening to read with a constant twitch. TRY it. FOR 6 years. It is a LEARNED habit, I cherish.  I also read something that will ‘force’ me to start my day in a positive light. It is too easy to be dragged into darkness.
You have to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight. 
I have a friend Mona who reminds me of that. 

‘By 10a.m.  most days I choose- Cry OR  DO  something. 
Not just do.. BE creative. 

Walking is something I MUST focus on most times, I feel like I have a weight in my head wobbling the rest of my body.  When being constantly zapped- what do you do ? 
Learn to live through it &  Thank God for each time you come out the other side. 

I don’t share any of this for PITY. Pity is not what I need. 
I need loving vibes sent. Understanding for me and others like me. 
I have Trigeminal Neuralgia & some. 
I have on average, on a good day 5 major attacks an hour. 
I have a very visual case. I find it difficult also on levels socially.  
Photos taken this a.m. shared. *Hard to do. Even if just in a blog.

People can see my pain. It makes some uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable.  
I must force myself out socially. BUT my home is different. IT IS my comfort zone that I NEED badly. I invite only those who I know come with love and nothing else. 
I am very selective of who I even invite for a coffee. 

The woman from the TN Support group, Kathy has been very supportive to me personally. She responds to my e mail, some nice, some angry -(I figure if she can’t FU*KING understand, who will?) She does not judge and encourages me - she also pointed out that  ‘I seem to be ashamed of my disease.’  
I though when I read that: That’s BULLSHIT! 
She was right. I am ashamed. I have no control. ;( 

The world world can see, I have lost control of my own face.  My mind is zapping me 24/7 and it hurts and I can’t stop it.  Dr.s can’t either. Not without a lot of GUESSING.
I sometimes think THANK GOD - they cannot see the pain that comes with. 

I don’t want Pity! I want understanding! 
When I am stressed and the blood starts to race a bit faster- I can start to resemble, as if I am having a stroke. I also can NOT bend over all the time for the same reason.
It triggers stronger attacks and NO thank you! I have enough in a day.

*IF I'm having a PHONE conversation - say with the government - ( LOL - usual bullshit) and I start to get upset - as they an cause you to do - it can trigger an attack,  I slur my words and my face cramps and HURTS. They can’t 'hear' this on the phone and when I go quiet, I’ve even had people who appear to lose patience! 

I AM in the process of finding out how to get my communications in writing! WHY NOT? 
YOU know why - because then when they SCREW UP, you have a record! 

Recently  the government screwed up- after MONTHS of running around and passing the buck- ADDING UNNECESSARY stress to our lives -It was NOT until AFTER I was FORCED  to send a threatening letter - assuring I would be happy to involve Dr.s, Lawyers and the PRESS  - we did get a phone call and APOLOGY and admitting numerous mistakes were made! Amazingly someone was READY to actually listen.  It is draining and I know we are not alone! Speak to anyone and you hear the same stories. 
How many do not have even the energy to argue. Too many.
There services are in place to help us? I find it hard to believe. 

I am so very tired of it. I refuse to be ‘judged’ by anyone WHO does not know and refuses to KNOW OR LISTEN!  
I AM DONE. I will not apologize for this! I will NOT be ashamed and I will educate!
IF I can  -  and I CAN. 
Do I wish I was NOT the one to be educating you on this!? 
YES!!  I AM. Here, Literally the face  of pain. 

I do get breaks, Naps do help. Positive People, Vibes, books, shows.. all help.
Why would anyone want it any other way?   If we lose it  quick, we apologize quick in this house and move on. I thank God for my guys and their patience & LOVE they provide me with every hour of every day.  If I ask. ;) 

Men ARE NOT mind readers. 
A little understanding from strangers - is that too much to ask? 
DO NOT judge UNLESS you know - and even then. Why bother. 
IF you don’t  have anything nice to say - don’t say it. 
DON’T tolerate it either. 

Everything for a reason.  I am learning to embrace all that life gives - as long as I remind myself I am never alone, I’m going to be o.k.   
I’m never alone. ;) I don’t mean the dogs...  lol 

The world can see, I have lost control of my own face.
But they can’t see, I have not lost control of my faith. 

xox
<><   
Have Faith 

Where does it all go?  Sit and think for one minute.
All the medication that goes in our system eventually if it does not stick around and fuck - (alter) your body in some way.. it leaves via your pee.  Years ago a friend told me of the cancer medication she peed out of her system, how it turned the water a deep red and frightened her... and she like me, then started to think - well then, where does it go? 
Cancer medications where you can't have your husband in the same room as you, for 48 hours or it's toxic!? 
Sadly, I do know about this stuff first hand, because I have first hand friends that deal with this shit.  Forgive me, but I have had an emotional day mentally after attending my first support group for TN.  It only hit me after I retuned home and thought about it all afternoon.  Then napped in the sunshine with poppy for 2 hours ;) Amen.

You know what I heard a lot of, besides people -who I do think can relate- to my pain. 
That is strangely comforting. Is that strange?  lol 
One woman simply said: "You know when the dentist touches your tooth- and your not frozen, for a split second you want to go through the roof?"
Well that was a great way to describe it! 
I get that so many times a day I give up counting... no wonder I am exhausted. 
I will admit I was feeling.. defeated.  
To look around the room and not one person has Hemi facial Spasm as well.  

All very normal people, all have busy lives who suffer with TN, on top of life.
The topic of medication came up over and over again! Never good really. Except for me! 
I'm the only one in the room with positive side effects.  ;) 

Holy cow! Forget it, I'm not going on anything else! I Am keeping it natural. 
Rashes that leave you in the hospital and sick for weeks, throwing up.. the same stuff I hear and read about daily over and over again!! You know I get it, but 'I' don't want to play around with my liver or BRAIN or anything else if I can help it ever again. 

Storm pointed out to me a while ago we all have to learn to live with a little pain, some physical, some mental, some both. We still all have choices to make every day and many do it!! WITHOUT drugs.  When I hear of someone who is on an antidepressant I think of them as being 'on DRUGS'  and I AM thankful for that change in my mindset!
I AM grateful for that change in my mindset! 


What blew my mind or rather 'who' was this older woman, late 70's if I had to guess (I'm not really good at that though, and I can't remember names at all) she was sweet, her hair, makeup & outfit perfect! And it's an early meeting! She appeared 'to me' to be sleeping much of the meeting- Oh well, I saw it happen in church all the time.  
Well, at the end of the meeting  - who walks up to me and asks me about Cannabis? HER! LOL  Sleeping, she was not!  
How awesome, it puts a smile on my face now thinking of her.  I wished I had cookies! 
One for everyone in the bunch!! 
I know what these people are dealing with!  Yet, they all had smiles, and encouragement for each other, it was nice to see a few husband and wife teams. I think Norman is done. LOL He can join me next time. Not that I did not LOVE my friend Cathy's support. 

If not for Cathy, I would not have gone.  She was my driver. 
We had to be there at 9:30.  She attends mass with her sisters every Sunday.  So it was really nice of her.  It was our first drive on the 404! WOW! What a difference! It felt like we were there & home in the blink of an eye!  

I am glad I went,  it has given me much to think about. 
I will go again.  Nice to know I'm not crazy, alone, frustrated, "sitting crying in a corner"... which is very easy for me to do.  Who will it help? Will it make a difference? 
I refuse. WE have to keep busy! 
Maybe those medications are NOT helping you? 
Cannabis MIGHT! It might make you smile too! 
WE MUST keep busy. Learn a new hobby. Volunteer, DRAW! PAINT! 
KEEP BUSY!   & BE. ;) 
xox <><

I know my blog can be all over the place.. so is my mind. 
I know I'm making mistakes but I can't sit and re read. 
I pray my message is understood. It is all I can do.

More on TN as soon as I can . ;)

I draw everywhere. This one came out in my 'chair', where I am most relaxed.. 
It is what it is and it is how I feel.
I would be lost without cannabis. 
It brings me  calm - calm enough to create. 
I thank God daily for it.

Do you know someone on anti-depressants?  
Tell them to google the side effects. 
Then tell them to google cannabis and pray. 
It's all you can do....

40,ooo a year. from prescribed antidepressants.
0 - Cannabis - what have you got to lose?
xox <><

This weather is doing a number on my head.  
The past few days I have spent more or less going from chair to bed. 
Not doing much of anything - well, I am painting  'ZenKitties' and thankful for their smiling faces.  It is hard not to smile when I see all the smiles  looking back at me.  
It is a mindless craft for me, one I still enjoy and put TLC into and it helps pass the time. I know with each kitty out will go some good vibes and it will make someone SMILE.  Simple. 

My twitch is nonstop, except for when I lie down.  During my mega twitches  it becomes the size of a finger and travels down the side of my face (can be seen in photo above) - the pain shooting right down past my breast to my mid way down my torso.  I ask myself daily, how do I live with this? 
What can I do to make it easier.  I don't know.  
Do you? LOL  
I'm open for suggestions.  I do know when in pain, we are not our nicest- it is truly a test on so many levels.  My tolerance is low. It is not a good time to push someone to their limits.  I just might not be so tolerable - and why should I?
I think too often we put up with negative stuff and  the more we put up with it the more it continues. Once you are pushed to the limit and snap and say thats it!  That's it. Let it be.
Blessings in disguise. 

I feel I need to withdraw.  Rest my brain. 
I know what is happening to me.
I know how I feel. 
It is enough to deal with. 
I don't need to be wondering/stressing how you are dealing/handling  'it'. 

I am trying to figure out how to 'not let' the constant little stuff make me angry, when I have a literal distraction physically and mentally 'be' at me,  a thousand times a day.  Beyond the point of being able to focus many days.  How not to get aggravated by continuous, thoughtless and sometimes mean comments made by some of those closest to us. 

It's enough.
xox <><

scanning new toon for tomorrow. 

Where does the time go!? It is almost the end of May!  

Todays toon, my twitch is really bad at night, some nights, after 7  I hardly function, and I cannot read, it’s just too powerful and frustrating, so Norm has taken to reading to me.
I enjoy it. We enjoy it.  WELL...  not his choice of books always, not what I would choose and we are working on that! LOL 

We just finished the Planets, it was all very interesting and the book is a couple of decades old so we have talked about quite a bit... BUTT when he got the the section on Uranus - 
It just seems that everything he said sounded ‘funny.’  

I do smoke a joint at night before I sleep, Norm was cracking up as much as I was  (he does not smoke) by the end of it- my head hurt.. anyhow  two 50 = year olds, I know it is immature but - so what!  Giggle, What ever it takes.

We are now reading  world events though out history.  I get to pick the next book.   

Tomorrow’s blog - I have new wheels!!!  
xox <>< 

Good Morning! And  a good one it appears to be so far, thank God.
I have had a terrible past few days, almost as bad as just after surgery. My twitch waking me up at 4 a.m., so powerful it has me crying before I'm out of bed.  And it does not stop. It takes on average 3/5 bong hits JUST to get it under control this past few mornings. JUST to get it to start to give me a break.  
When it is as bad as it is.. I can not walk properly, I can not read, I can not use the computer, I can not function.  The shots of pain I get  instantly stop you in your tracks! Right from the top of my head down now to my chest.  The several days, I've hardly been able to function past 3 in the afternoon. Exhausted, mentally and physically.  What do I worry about - seeing my son and husband watch this. I know it breaks their heart every time.  My days consist of moving from one seat to another - thank GOD, I can draw, or I don't know what I'd do :(  I pray a lot too. 
I have to go and see my Dr. I have decided NOT to renew my license to use cannabis. 

I have a folder of stuff, clippings, quotes, images, jokes... I brought this with me up north, 
I needed to get away and thought I'd go with a clean slate to try to get my head together. Days alone with nothing but Poppy and the radio - Canoe FM,  so nice to hear a community radio station!  This was the first quote out of my folder an the first drawing I did to unwind.

Did I pray while away - you bet.  
It actually took me a good day to unwind. I cleaned - lol (it was already clean) and took Poppy for walks but mostly I sat at the kitchen table or on the sofa and drew!  
That and slept.  I am amazed at how much I slept, clearly I needed it.
I was up in Haliburton at my good friends home. ❤ Jim - also my pal who keeps me in paper!  He just purchased it and has been too busy to get up there, I was the first to stay a week.  I was not ruffing it - that is for sure. 
Storm drove me up and stayed one night and Norm came up and picked me up and spent one night.  Other than that it was me and Poppy! I made notes, even a few new rules for keeping my sanity and I am done with Dr.s.
I can't do it any more. They do not know what is causing my condition and I do not want to go through any more tests. 
I pray for strength, patience, understanding daily. 
I also say thank you for EVERY break I get.  Twitch breaks, lol - and breaks in life! 
My retreat below ;-) 
I am very thankful to Jim for sharing his piece of heaven on earth with us. 

XOX <><

Oh - I'm feeling stronger and have a new clarity and focus than I have for a long time! 
BRING IT ON World! I am ready!!!    ;-) You will just have to stay tooned to see more! 

Last Monday I guess I finally had the straw that broke this camels back.
I went for a test, one I had hoped and prayed would help Dr.s see what is finally going on in my head.  It was not a pleasant experience to say the least. I left feeling defeated, degraded and ashamed at myself.   I had questioned the test as I understood I was to have something different, I was told over and over I was wrong.  I can tell you that for the first time in my life I truly felt like a piece of meat.  Once home I called and confirmed I was to have a different test. Then I got a bit of 'Blah blah blah...' - and it did not make anything any better only worse. I  then think I had a bit of a breakdown. I cried off and on for two days.  I needed to get away.

I am blessed with a long time friend who when I asked if  I could use his cottage, he offered me his home instead as no one is in it at the moment.  I house sat.
I was nice to sit  here too as he is a special friend - he has kept me sane these past years with paper alone!!  He has supported my cartooning since day one. I could not have done it without him, well...  perhaps,  we find ways.  His friendship for over 20+ years  has always been a treasure.  He knows it.  LOL
To say I was 'roughing it' would be a lie.  Central vac, hot tub...   amazing privacy & deer!
A Sasquach!?  Fire, snuggling with Poppy.  Darkness and quite like I have not witnessed in a long time, talk about sooth the soul! 
I think I made a  new friend to boot!  We shall see.   Everything happens for a reason ;) .

 I have taken photos, walked, explored a little but mostly, I have slept and drawn for 6 days and feel rested. With only Poppy for a companion we have had some fun! Today she lost a tooth.  I have to admit both, too afraid to venture out after dark - she has been an awesome little pup in every way I can think of - oh well except for her obsession with the door stopper - Boooiiinnnggg, Booooiiinnnggg, Boiiinnngg!! LOL  So happy she just discovered it and not when we arrived. 

As much as I needed to get away, I need to return to my family -who is missing me and visa versa.  

Blog and new TOONS!!!  I am amazed at what I drew while away, I listened to what I thought I should draw about and I was never let down.  It was not always about cannabis. It is always about humans.  HIV, Future of Health Canada, A political statement that I know many of us all feel right now, a special toon with my son,  and some Poppy - because -  I still have a every day life...

Thank God.

I AM ready to continue. 
Next Blog Sunday!

I sit and giggle that I called my strip On MY mind.. really. 
Georgia, Georgia, no peace I find
Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind.
I LOVE Willie! 

I also have stuff ON MY MIND. 
It sure feels like it anyhow.  I realized I started my blog with the cartoon Blah Blah Blog.  Before I even knew what was going on was going on.  June 21,2010... this is a long time. Steadily progressing then surgery, again progressing. 
YES, I am thinking PLEASE LET them figure this out! I am exhausted, everyday is a challenge to continue through normal chores and experiences with a constant  prodding in my head every few minutes...   at the same time terrified that they will find something! 
How can they not? I have asked my self this before. 
Apparently this test will  help see if there are any blocks or aneurysms. 
Which makes me think - why the heck have I not had this already!? 4 YEARS. 
I know many suffering worse & waiting even longer. 
What is going on with this country? 
I read today of a family that has moved to Colorado to access cannabis for their  baby!? 
THEY KNOW IT WORKS! We know it works and the government knows it works that is why they are all about the $$$.  How shameful is that? 
We are Forced to take that route or we face possible  conviction in this country that recognized Cananbis as a legal medicine - No wonder I'm twitchin! !!!  

Enough - I need to go PAINT. My only true mind release! It takes thought, I become absorbed and LOVE EVERY SECOND of it. Twitch too. It is what it is.  
I am inspired by my little Poppy.

My handsome son is driving me tomorrow! Up and early! We will have breakfast and head into the big city! LOL  Before many rise for the day - I'll be back on my way, home to bed probably! 

I believe in the power of Prayer and Good VIBES,  I recently watched an interesting Documentary that stated it is often used by the USA government, Masons and prayer groups all over the world.  STRENGTH in numbers especially of the MIND! 
I know that already though.

Perhaps we should set a date - Wake up and demand  decriminalization!  
Ha ha ha 
That would be awesome! 
So any good vibes &  positive prayers send them! 
I am open to receive! Not just today every day!!! 
Bring it on! 

 Tomorrow is a Guest Blog! Please Read!!
 ;-)  
xox <><