What would Jim do? 
"What are your alternatives?"  He asked me one day.
​
Draw.

I was hoping,  I'd be able to draw a tribute toon but I can not yet.

Believe
xox
<><

It's April... tax time and the thought brings me to tears.
Norm is feeling especially blue over this years taxes too. 
Not for the reasons you might imagine. Jim did our taxes. He worked for Revenue Canada. He died horribly  last April when he was thrown from his golf cart and  I find myself  feeling torn apart all over again.  My heart aches all over again it seems as it does for everyones closest to Jim. Elly & the kids btw are STILL dealing with issues surrounding the case not yet resolved... if only it was over so they might move forward.  

I see Norm put Jims name on the calendar today and it made me angry- I don't need it on the calendar to remember- but, I get it too.. Norm is having his own hard time, he too is missing Jim.
​
Yes, I'm feeling extra blue, life can do that to us.
Thank God I have some serious drawing to do to keep me busy. I  put LOVE into every brush stroke - as is expected. The 'old me' wanted to  stay in bed and cry today - what a waste of a day, of  a gift and even of memories.  Jim wouldn't want any one of us to be still crying over him - everyone who knows him knows that to be fact. He LOVED life.

Jim  loved my cartooning, he provided many ideas and inspiration.  I miss him.
This time last year- I had no idea Jim would soon be gone. If I would have had some premonition of things to come - I would have made sure to get in a few more hugs at least.

Who will be gone from your life tomorrow?
​Did you tell them you love them recently?
I don't think I actually 'said it' to Jim but I know he knew it.

Time to paint.
​
Believe 
xox <><

​I purchased new sheets on the weekend and found these two napping in my bed!
What is it about new/clean sheets?   :)

Baaaaaaaack at it! 
Norm came home the other day and had to go back to work on an emergency..  I usually 'unwind' with Norm, we watch a movie together and then off to bed,  but with him back to work - I thought - why not!  back to work for me too!
Into the studio/painting room and there was this white chair, it had been white for at least 6 years, time to just add paint! No sketches, no thoughts of what I was even going to paint... it did not take long for my sheep to appear, the rest...  just felt good. 
I did remember to take  few photos as I went along.  Norm arrived  home but by this time I was in my groove - lol.. he went to bed and I stayed up painting past two.
 
I need the chair! I'm having company this thanksgiving!!  
I asked thinking, it's been a very difficult year for this family with the death of Jim*,  and I know  sometimes we don't want to celebrate much - let alone holidays - so I would have been be fine either way, it was for my cousin to decide  & Elly said "Sure! A change will be nice" and I AM THRILLED!  I'm painting chairs and on PIN for decorating ideas!  
I cannot pull it off anymore by myself (not even close) - so it's a pot luck too! (the food kind) I need a chair(s) and the white was simply too boring for the day! 
I already feel truly blessed to be having our Fall Feast here!  
I wish I could invite more, really! lol  My house will be full as it is! 

                                   Family, friends, Dogs and LOVE = FULL HOUSE!
 
I mailed out the invites and now that they have seen them all and said YES! lol 
I can show you! Hand painted on HEMP cards of course.
It's weeks away but I have much to do! Today I'm transforming my kitchen chairs, finishing a custom made garland, painting the Turkey giveaway & more!

My son has gone away for the weekend, I was teary when he left, I tried to hide it but was not completely successful - it bothers me  that I am physically unable to go with him. 
I thought maybe this year.. he left reminding me 'your having better days than last year mom...'  after he pulled away I burst into tears.  Then, I said to myself - fell sorry or go create something  that WILL make someone smile.  That has become my job - lol. 
It's not like I get paid to draw or paint every day,  and I have  been blessed by all of you - to realize - money means nothing - as usual.  
I have been blessed, thanked and reminded a thousand times over now.
It is ALL about making others SMILE & occasionally - think.  ;)  

Time to go paint. I will be waiting until he comes back home for my hug and to hear what fish he caught in his new BIGGER net. I am so proud of our son, who ventures out on his own - exploring the world - not waiting for others or even life to 'wait until it's convenient'
He certainly is not afraid of much.  Bears beware. ;)

Have Faith! 
<><  xox  -

* Jim (Elly's husband) died earlier this year in a terrible accident. Golfing.
I will continue to educate on this subject as long as I live. It should NOT have happened.
We all miss Jim very, very much.  xox    

You can read about it by clicking on the tag Jim Smith ? Golf cart death.

Some days for me are a little better, focused on painting and keeping my mind in  the right place… tonight as I read the article on Jim in the paper, then online - I'm feeling very sad again.  It’s o.k., It’s different.  Jim Smith died at the end of April and it has had me terribly sad, to put it mildly. I apologize for making you sad too ;( but it is a part of life and hopefully - it will make someone stronger.* Right now, I'm confused as to whom. 
It is not for me to understand.

Sad for the loss of Jim, sad now to see what Elly is dealing dealing with and to see how sad and heartbroken she truly is… even thought she puts on a good front.. for the sake of Sierra &  Logan, and even me.  I can see her black circles and lack of sparkle in her eyes.

Jim and Elly have been my family rock the past few years, even at times when I was not communicating so well with my own mom (she get’s it), Jim helping in many ways I am only realizing now - of course, ;( including recipes. 
Sierra and Logan, a testament to Jim also brave faces but I see the sadness slip in constantly during the corse of a few hours. They were very close. They went everywhere as a family, and did much!

He was out golfing for his birthday.  He was thrown from the golf cart and died after sustaining “significant” head injuries. Head injuries that no family member of a loved one should have to witness as he lay in a hospital bed with everything hooked to him.  I won’t forget  it for a while and I know his family and children will not.  Not after speaking to him, holding his hand, kissing his cheek as he lay in a coma. All begging him to come back. 
Elly will not forget for a very long time - she lost her best friend.  

Sad is putting it mildly - just like reading ‘significant’ - when I want to say - never in my life would I have though he would have looked like that after being thrown from a golf cart.  Devastated, shocked, horrified, traumatized - they are words that come to mind. Still they make the ‘actual visual’  seem mild.  At the time - we still only saw Jim. 

Are you aware how many injuries happen on Golf courses and how many children are hurt in golf cart accidents? Do some research… I had no clue.  
Does a family member play? A loved one? Then take the time to make them aware!   
There is much more Elly is learning. I can only shake my head in shock at most. 

People don’t talk about it but they should. OR it might be your husband, brother or dad that this can happen to. Lady golfers too! I use to be one.

Jim made me laugh every time I spoke to him, every e mail he replied would ‘try’ to make me laugh & was successful, either  because it was funny or I could say - “You’re such a *&^%!”  and then we would both laugh.  
I’m a bit better, because well - I know Jim above all else would not want us to be crying. 
Elly shared with me, because of his size many would comment once they heard: it was on a golf course - ‘Oh - a heart attack!’  Compared to this - that would have been a blessing.  

Well no,  not a blessing you see Jim also besides giving blood, raising thousands of dollars for research, coached  kids baseball, volunteered countless hours for too much to mention - - donated his organs and a gentleman received his heart! 
Someone is still alive because of Jim and his selflessness.  

http://omnifeed.com/article/www.torontosun.com/2015/06/24/widow-of-man-who-died-in-golf-cart-mishap-wants-answers

PLEASE share this Blog, story, article.
I read the comments on the bottom of the online article and at first I was angry - instant- then a calm came over me - none of these people knew Jim, they are all making ASSumptions and they are being mean, thoughtless judgmental &^%$#.  Norm said they would never say such things to us in person as they hide under internet anonymity. I’ve heard in such cases - people are told - ‘go write something negative’ -  we all see it now on the many court dramas - some of the levels people will stoop.  
Fine by me, fine by us.. any of us who knew  (& LOVED) Jim, we do not care what anyone thinks.  Because we KNOW. 

I can’t remember the last time I was at a 'packed house'  funeral - standing room only.  
That was Jim.  Elly is still getting letters of condolences, still calls from people only now finding out and no... it was not a heart attack.
He was thrown from a golf cart and died  a horrible death! 

A day I wish I could take back for Elly, Sierra, Logan my aunt & uncle and cousin Joe ;(  ALL of US! Jim’s family, our extended family and the many, many friends and co workers - who Jim made LAUGH.  We miss him very much…  Elly is missing him more. 
Elly just  had her first 22 year anniversary - withOUT  her husband & in the same weekend,
Sierra & Logan just had their first fathers day with out their dad. 
Taken too soon, a wonderful dad with so much still to share.

A few of my favourite family photos below…
I miss you Jim.

Thrown from a golf cart and died a tragic death.
 I was there when he died,  I know.  ;(

Thanking you in advance. 
Georgia & Family - even Tequila 
- The only one she ever thought ‘tasty enough’ to bite - in her 18 years, was Jim. lol  

Have Faith,
<>< 
xox