I went to bed Friday and did not get up for 3 days. I felt so bad of Poppy who won't leave my side. The last thing I read about repeated in my mind over and over, like a constant loop of torture - it was about the baby Elijah here who walked out into the snow. Over and over I saw him leave that building. If you think I was not at the same time arguing with God and questioning - I was. Crying and I could not stop it - not praying, chanting, I couldn't call out, the guys brought me cold drinks but I refused to eat.
When I was over it I was shaken, the entire next day just his image in my mind brought me to tears. Prayers and LOVE to his family.
He is in Gods hands.
Wrapped in loves warmth.
That night was also filled with crazy dreams of me speaking detailed languages that I have no clue what it was. As if... I failed french lol
Bon jour mon ami ;)
The vomiting the next day - where it comes from I have no idea- I realized it was the first time since surgery - Not good as with he TN - Twitch - tossed in My God! KEEP YOUR distance. The guys did avoid me. Unless I called. Get this - while I am sick - Storm also - but not vomiting, comes up while I'm in the shower 'because - I smell' lol, strips our bed, washes it all and make sit up again for me. Unbelievable. I am so blessed with our son. We love each other. All this going on and I realize...
Poppy has never seen me vomit.
I am throwing-up into a bucket - that bad- and suddenly she is on my head literally, her arms wrapped around my neck and nuzzling my head- as if to ask 'what was I doing!'
Also whining - and I can't reach behind me- I can't speak to say GET her OFF!
*REALLY - INSERT male brain thinking here. Norm looks and is laughing and says
'George thats so cute! I'll go get the camera!!'
Can you imagine my thought at that moment! Better not!
When did not like the bucket.
My sweet Pop knew I was sick and just slept with me.
It IS what it Is this life of Mine and I plan on living exactly HOW I do!
I have no intentions of 'calming my enthusiasm' for anyone. Thank God I have it!
I am here to SHINE!
I had a little fun with Norman- hee hee hee
He looked a this and instantly he got this huge smile an said he didn't like it
- I know he likes it. lol He loves it.
Surrounded by love I can not fail.
xox Have Faith <><
Back to normal tomorrow:
A cannabis Cartoon.
This is what I do at 1:40a.m.. and can't sleep... I should be painting. lol