Judge me - go ahead. This is not a fun ride and I can't get off and if you don't get it too bad.
I'm trying hard to function and keep going and can't think about others, I'm barely keeping it together now. lol I feel I'm a bit of a buzz kill to be around lately, chronic illness, constant zapping, constant mental interruption - chances are - I might not be in a good mood. I would not even say that is the correct term - more like, I have an incredibly short fuse. So here's the thing- don't come around! I'm not being mean, I am being honest - when I'm alone I'm not worried about faking it, pretending I'm feeling o.k. when no, I am not. If you want to see someone suffer gracefully all the time - It might no be me.
AM I a buzz kill, or just tired of your shit. Depends who you ask, right. ;)
The dye was injected this time and will be again on Friday to my understanding. I agreed to this MRI because I was told awhile back - if anything can show us what is going on this will.
We will know soon enough if this is the case. I won't know results until March.. the system, is lacking.. I'll be wondering from time to time. I figure, if God wants me to know - I've certainly known by now... everything for a reason. I want to know.. can I fly???
I am reminded of what makes me smile lately, I've names a few in the box above.
Some I won't name. Some it's no ones business what or who makes us smile, as long as we do. Have you made someone smile lately? ;)
Things to make this winter seem brighter:
Starting a image bored, not of what I want, but who/what makes me smile.
Less socializing more withdrawing and painting and drawing and crafting.
Focus less on what needs to get done and more on what you want to do.
Continue to DREAM & plan and believe it's going to happen.
Surrounding myself with what ever it takes, speaking of which there is a new man in my life and I don't care who knows it! Just like movie... we spotted each other across a crowded room, I went over whispered something in his ear and the rest is history - our eyes locked & it was love at first site.
More on him soon.