Bird.. has 'free reign' - most are amazed when they visit to see him flying around my office, the door wide open and Bird- does not leave. Well, this little Feathered F*cker.. last night was flying around- I was painting at 11:00p.m. when I decided to go to bed I noticed he was NOT in his cage (which he does at bedtime- 9:30 usually for him), so I called and looked and looked. I went to bed incredibly tired - thankfully - woke up first thing this morning - still no bird!! ? I got the paper, fed the bluejays, came in - still no bird.. told Norm 'Bird is missing'. He went up and looked 30 minutes.. he too was stumped.
Me getting a bit emotional now, what happened to bird? A little teary and the little shit appears from my built-in unit somewhere! Clearly he camped out last night! He certainly has personality this bird.
I'm feeling good. I am focusing on what needs to be done and art.
Dr.s want me to 'speak' to the surgeon again.. (sigh), before considering brain surgery - I'm going to do what ever 'I think' takes to destress. I told them to give me 6 months before we have this conversation again. What do I think will help in de stressing:
Regrettably, Norm & I are not getting along and have separated, between 24 years of constant renovations, Halloween Hells - coffins - here and there and everywhere, being built NOW- when a kitchen is not finished (and I am 'Tired as Fuck' fighting about it), outside forces, years of the same stresses, arguments over $$$$$ and over 'my worth', have taken their toll and I want out. Steps are being taken, I have met with my lawyer.
The next step is to find somewhere to move. I'm hoping for Haliburton - I love it up there.
Who knows that tomorrow will bring- either way it is coming and I am ready to EMBRACE.
I had someone 'flirt' recently, you know I am a flirt- if I like you - you know it, the attention is nice, it had me laughing and smiling, feeling beautiful inside and out.
From a stranger? Over e mail, someone I never met in person..
It hit home. Move on.
I truly hope Norm and I will remain friends, we have created this amazing son together and will still be in each others lives. Time will tell.
I KNOW I have tried at my marriage. I know I want to feel appreciated again.
For any that might be wondering our son is fine with our decision, he understands.
Letting my mind wander, even thinking of my new potential home - trying to keep positive feels fantastic. Start the journey in your head - it's the first step.
Fun. Here's the thing I know I can be fun.. I am I noticed with a few people - still able to crack jokes, laugh and just BE. ;) I need to be reminded like everyone else from time to time about small insignificant details - like: I am a woman and fun. Still.
I AM READY for some serious fun. So, I guess I better make it happen.
I am open universe... & ready. Finally.
I sketched the cover for Cannabis Digest! Not Halloween... Not political.. something I believe people will have fun painting happy! It's the 50th edition and the paper has grown, matured.. not who they were yesterday. Soon!