Yesterday, I told you about the death of my dog.. today it is the death of my marriage.
This too will come as no surprise to many who know 'us' well.
All I ask from anyone is prayers for a smooth transition into a new chapter of my life.
For myself as well as Norm.
I found this quote last night on PIN:
I want him to be in a happy relationship, I know they exist.
I think it would be better also for me to be alone and 'content' - even happy maybe, than to be continually in a relationship where we do not get along anymore, fight constantly about everything from no name chips to paint chips and it's just not fucking fun anymore.. it never was. Not the fighting. It has physically taken its toll one the past few years, expecting to be who I was not and being in an environment that never stops - with work all around me not complete, it's made it almost impossible to 'stay on top of'. When not fighting we each do our own thing we never talk about anything other than the weather - I hardly ever get asked 'how was your day? I'm just not interesting anymore, I guess. I still ask daily.
You try to 'keep the peace', because it's what you think we should do, at some point you really start to think about the price for peace you are paying and this one is too steep for me.
If you read this blog you have a pretty good idea of what's been happening.
Time has passed.. we went in different directions.
I told Norm the kitchen won't make a difference - just like everything before- it is all stuff. By the time 'it' gets done the amount of fighting before - years in fact over something as simple as a set of stairs.. that can be finally accomplished in a matter of hours is all about control in my opinion.
The most recent remarks about not contributing to this marriage, because I did not go to a 9 - 5 fucking job every day- pushed me over the edge. As I hope it does to every mother, woman out there.
It is time I take back control of my own life.
I appreciate and good vibes/prayers you send & thank all for their continued support.
I want to find a place where I might paint peacefully, surrounded by my dogs and friends who I know want to be in my company. I am planning on moving a bit North- you know me... I Love nature.
Now, I'm looking into my options and painting peacefully.
Ironically, I do feel pretty peaceful about this decision...
it's how I know it is right.
No more tears.. fuck that.
I take control back, NOW.
Back to painting.
I'm keeping this one.
I'm framing it and getting it ready to hang in my new home.