To share or not to share that is the question, and I have decided to share. I have decided because I myself have had a difficult time finding anyone with this medical problem. For the past 3 years I have not been well. It started with a tiny little twitch in my right lower eyelid, every now and then.. I did not give it much thought. Then it started to twitch all the time - more aggravating than anything but I did go see my Dr., tests were started. To make a long story short- and trust me there are days when it feels like an incredibly LONG story ;-) It is now to the point where I have a constant twitch that can only be partially controlled by numerous botox injections. Even with the botox the twitch continues- I've noticed you can't see it as much on the outside but I feel it on the inside and I still have my mega twitches which pulls my face to the side and feels like it will stay that way & it is very painful.
Sometimes it is triggered by stress and other times simply by smiling. I have had a second opinion, and now my neurologist has arranged for me to see a Surgeon.
How has this twitch changed my life? It stops me from socializing - partially because of how I look but mostly because it is incredibly uncomfortable, I lose my train of thought when I feel pressure pulling the back of my eyeball - IT is all I can think about when I am having a twitch attack. It is depressing. It is exhausting. Every time the botox wears off the twitch is there with a vengeance. At that time I am a recluse. I even have difficulty walking (balance), drawing, reading and the twitch controls my life. I have to go lie down and pray it passes quickly- some so strong I fear that I just might not be normal when it is done or make it out alive during. It has taught me time can be shorter than we think - so best step it up - it was the ultimate kick in the ass and I have accomplished quite a bit in the past 3 years - even feeling insane and in pain over 1/2 the time.
Medication and botox are only masking the problem at this point.
I am so ready to meet with the surgeon- I see it as hope, I know it is not going away - it's been 3 years, I am concerned as there have been some other side effects that I can not attribute to hemi facial spasm, pain in the area of the brain for one, weight loss and nausea.
I have read of people who have that the surgery and it stopped completely after only a couple of days- I can't even comprehend that at this point!
So while I wait. I need to stay de-stressed, no coffee only GREEN tea for me and my medicine - Cannabis - even it does not stop the twitch but I will tell you what it does do- It allows me to get past it! It makes my brain say - get up! Lying here will do nothing to help - Go draw! Go garden! Go play with the dogs! IT allows me to live my life. It lets me see the beauty that surrounds me and gives me hope.
So yes, Please do send me some loving vibes! I'll take all I can get! And remember - death does not take a holiday- if you are aware and breathing - you have another chance to get it right, do some good, make someone smile! Have some FUN! That is WHY we are here.
I am thankful every day I wake up. I say thank you every time my brain wakes up.
I thank God for another day to create - if not art than a memory. xox <><
Sometimes it is triggered by stress and other times simply by smiling. I have had a second opinion, and now my neurologist has arranged for me to see a Surgeon.
How has this twitch changed my life? It stops me from socializing - partially because of how I look but mostly because it is incredibly uncomfortable, I lose my train of thought when I feel pressure pulling the back of my eyeball - IT is all I can think about when I am having a twitch attack. It is depressing. It is exhausting. Every time the botox wears off the twitch is there with a vengeance. At that time I am a recluse. I even have difficulty walking (balance), drawing, reading and the twitch controls my life. I have to go lie down and pray it passes quickly- some so strong I fear that I just might not be normal when it is done or make it out alive during. It has taught me time can be shorter than we think - so best step it up - it was the ultimate kick in the ass and I have accomplished quite a bit in the past 3 years - even feeling insane and in pain over 1/2 the time.
Medication and botox are only masking the problem at this point.
I am so ready to meet with the surgeon- I see it as hope, I know it is not going away - it's been 3 years, I am concerned as there have been some other side effects that I can not attribute to hemi facial spasm, pain in the area of the brain for one, weight loss and nausea.
I have read of people who have that the surgery and it stopped completely after only a couple of days- I can't even comprehend that at this point!
So while I wait. I need to stay de-stressed, no coffee only GREEN tea for me and my medicine - Cannabis - even it does not stop the twitch but I will tell you what it does do- It allows me to get past it! It makes my brain say - get up! Lying here will do nothing to help - Go draw! Go garden! Go play with the dogs! IT allows me to live my life. It lets me see the beauty that surrounds me and gives me hope.
So yes, Please do send me some loving vibes! I'll take all I can get! And remember - death does not take a holiday- if you are aware and breathing - you have another chance to get it right, do some good, make someone smile! Have some FUN! That is WHY we are here.
I am thankful every day I wake up. I say thank you every time my brain wakes up.
I thank God for another day to create - if not art than a memory. xox <><
