Who's ready for summer?? Me!  21 days till spring...
This owl peeking around the corner flys off the page, I love this feathered friend if I do say so! What  a pleasure to paint such delicate plumage - Canadian barn owls this summer flying over  cannabis field in the cool summer evenings - can't wait!

Norm came home and showed me the paper right away (held it up to my nose- yes, he rubbed my nose in it you could say) - "Trudeau's time is up.."  he says and looks at me for a reaction - which made me think two things: ...Norms got a death wish   (lol)        &
Are we encouraging Fake news now,  nasty news?  Phhhhbt....  Man oh man- talk about ship jumpers - JUMP- cause there's just as many sharks in that icy cold water wussy! 'Trudeaus day are numbered' &  my pal Crusty Rusty had to get a jab in too today - called me first thing to ask if I was paying attention to 'my heros happenings' - or something smart ass like that I don't remember his exact words.  My response to them and anyone else... with 'Canadians' like you waiting for him fail - almost encouraging - wow. Are you paying attention to whats happening down south?  Speaking of The USA - Take a look at who' is still calling the shots as of today - wtf? & is still making deals with others. YIKES....
 and hang on - What about those  planes  NOT flying over India this morning?   WTF?  

I'm not blind or ignorant - I have developed a heavenly habit of reading during the day  yes, I do read, it is a luxury many do not realize you have.  Yes, I know it's far from perfect but Please, do not tell me  Justin Trudeau does not care about Canada! ARE you kidding me - Look at his family & look back at your own - I know because of his love for his family he cares for Canada.  
Is that not what does drive us ALL? 

Canada is HIS family & his home - LOOK at this beautiful Country -  Canadians are not leaving, tourism was the best last year it has ever been, do you understand the amount of money that brings. So - No, I'm not happy about any pipelines or political private parties at our expense but I'm not jumping fucking ship.   Ever.  & Change happens.

I believe in those I believe in & thank God, there are still many I do believe in.
You know who you are. I believe in my son & it's funny to me even - but as much as Norm and I  "Arrrrrgh!!!!"  we still have each others back, I have many Americans I feel a bond with & I KNOW you know.. (strange stuff happens) - I had a slight exchange of words with  an American pal   ;) who said "he'd rather his kid be in a room of people with guns than a room full of fat people"  I grabbed my head and sighed in frustration but I get it - I DON'T live there - I don't see it... one month (almost) in California was a different perspective I can assure you.  A reminder of the rest of the world is not doing so great in some places.  If I lived there with obesity getting out of hand and guns - you make choices based on your surroundings I'm not going to judge anyone for their choices - I don't care. AS long as WE don't KILL each other

*My condition has been so aggressive a few days this week - I cannot even pick up a phone,  Nothing touches my face, no make up, no toothbrush - even the pillow - I'm done explaining -  if YOU lived this- your opinion on a few things might change too.  
WHO are you?   WHO do you believe in?  WHOooo do you love?

I believe in me.  I believe Justin is doing what he believes is the best he can do for Canadians.
I believe in many of you.
Thank you for that. xox

With TLC & THC
G

This is my second attempt at this spotted cat - it's not a easy task but I sure enjoyed myself.
Natural medicine opens ones mind - we already have natural medicine IN our minds & bodies.. Cannabinoids are found naturally in the body  &  so is DMT ,  there is still so much about our own bodies we do not understand, we only need to take time quietly to listen & learn.  Painting these dots is so frigging relaxing - TRY it - just paint dots... I'll try to get them more round' in the next painting. An elephant is what I might try next after I paint a sweet little hedge hog for a far away friend.

I understand Cannabis & Psilocybin assist me with stress,  chronic pain & a better mental attitude... I know this when I wake up 'Happy' at 3.a.m. in pain but excited to paint, excited for another day (all things considered), heck- I'm excited to clean my closet today - since my feet are deformed- I no longer need any high heels - they no longer spark joy - the same goes for  MINISKIRTS! LOL.  Adios past - you serve me no longer. 
​I am grateful for this medicine every single time I hold a paintbrush.  

On my mind lately...  my son sends me messages where he is a 'talking chicken' & I cannot believe how amused it has me - to hear a chicken say "I love you Mom"  has me giggling like a schoolgirl.  It does not take much to please me.Ω

I read Bruce McArther was a Scarborough Santa for years- YUK- OMGosh - what would you do with that Santa Photo?! When you find out your kids on a serial killers lap, I have not been following the story as I find it very sad all those men & I don't think our police force did a good job & I'm not sure why..   Politics, Judgement...    who knows.

I woke today - determined to go to Ripleys Aquarium, it's going to happen - soon... I'm going to go & sketch and look at some octopus,  it's good to have goals & this is just one of MANY I'm going bring to LIFE this year.  

It's  - 0- today!  caWoot Woot!!  I might take the girls for a stroll... if the sun decides to shine.
Have a wonderful, creative day,

With TLC & THC
​Georgia 

The stoned Ape is a  theory introduced by Terence McKenna which more or less attributes apes  advancement/speech to psilocybin use.  Terence believed that psilocybin mushrooms were the "evolutionary catalyst" from which language, projective imagination, the arts, religion, philosophy, science, and all of human culture sprang. McKenna's hypothesis concerning the influence of psylocibin mushrooms on human evolution, is known as "the 'stoned ape' theory."   It's a different perspective  - to which some disagree.   
​
I find it interesting and agree with Terence - imagine being a chimp and ingesting  psilocybin mushrooms, cannabis - or any natural medicine that creates an altered state' - what on earth would they be thinking?  They would be thinking  "wow- check this out.."   and like many humans would want to share their highly stimulating experience with others - it's what we do. Still.  
Stuff to ponder while I paint.

I'm thrilled with my stoned Monkey ape...   he has inspire a few other stoned creatures.

JustinTrudeau was in Keswick the other day- At Sammy's Chicken!  I was sent a message as it was happening & I contemplated driving over for about 3 seconds... the twitch won.   ;(
Not that I'd know what to say - other than:  THANK you!  

If not for cannabis, psilocybin & other natural medicines that have been consumed since the beginning of time - where would we be? Probably still slinging poop at each other -  that's still happening too (how could we forget with Donald running the show) but in a few more years- we will not only be having better conversations but experiencing better health thanks to ALL the Stoned Apes who continue to educate.  

​I wish Donald would try psilocybin -I imagine his conversation would go like this:
"Oooooo ooooooo aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaa... (nibble nibble) let's discuss climate change & what can be done.."
 
With TLC & THC
Georgia
​

I have delt with serious depression my entire life, I understand why, NOW. While painting this time lapse and watching a documentary -Bio on Timothy Leary I thought of an article I read yesterday and it hit me... since at least the late 60's Scientists in Canada & the USA knew about Psilocybin & how it appeared to be 'helping; with such issues as addition & depression - it's WELL documented & tried by some of the greatest minds on the planet (some of the earliest research done right in Sask. Canada)  & here have we been poisoned by the pharmaceutical industry our entire lives, not even given the opportunity to choose what might be best for our own bodies..    
How fucked up is that? Any of you, think for a second about this. 

The article is about assisted death in Canada and how we might consider making changes to include minors & suicidal/mentally ill - & it hit me like a fucking ton of PROZAC (Prozac - successfully sued for, causing suicidal thoughts & more serious side effects) WHY are we FORCED to consider legal assisted death in this country before being allowed to explore other  NON lethal OPTIONS!?  Look at what's happening with opiates. WHY ARE medicinal mushrooms- AGAIN, never responsible for one documented *death ** NOT offered as a option? I now understand why I have medical issues' - how else would I have understood what  these plants can do..  I  am grateful to them & God for the introduction & everyone who is educating in the past & currently. EXPAND your mind & look up something new or sit & sitcom... the choice is ours.

I have been there, with this TN  I have days you have no idea... but I'm not there NOW - I'm painting, playing with my dogs, catching Doves sent by God!! I had just sent my son  a message telling him I was going back to bed.. awake at 3:33 (Alexa) I had a headache & am tired from a flare in psoriasis, this past year it has gotten out of control (more soon so you can be aware & stay on top of it if you see the signs) & I walked into the kitchen with my empty cup and this beautiful bird was staring at me from 'inside' my enclosed deck! I was worried she was hurt- so I went to get her and she was so calm (just like that bluejay) I think I shall call myself a 'Bird whisperer! Hee hee         ;)    Photo below - it was a moment, a gift from God. I didn't go to back bed I painted this mushroom instead & had a realization.

We ALL deserve a chance at TRUE happiness - some of us struggle- we don't even know why  R E S E A R C H for yourself (especially if you have a child or someone you believe to be suicidal & not having success with conventional medication) - I guarantee you  you will learn Psilocybin MUSHROOMS help for depression & serious illness.  
WTF!?  WHY is this NOT a legal option available - our young are taking their own lives... if we are prescribed medications that  have serious side effects & known to harm/kill - why not this safer option? WHY not first? I'll give you one guess.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ you can grow your own$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
If you believe in God as you say you do than believe God has provided US with food & medicine.  Don't believe me - ​research & prove me wrong. 

WHY are we NOT permitted to legally  have this option - anyone suffering from pain - trigeminal neuralgia? Chronic arthritis? Severe skin conditions- God has assured me to grin and bear it & has provided pain relief with natural medicine & then sent a little bird to cheer me up. ;) Bird was not impressed - I took it outside after making sure it's wings & legs were fine it sat on my shoulder ! Haha - I must say I felt 'special' out in my backyard in my bathrobe with it on my shoulder... I took it back in checked it's feet & then tried again -lol  and it flew up into a tree & sat staring at me.  Fucking awesome! Made my day!
 I'm happy to be  alive even IF I'm really angry at our medical system right now. Again.  
To see a time-lapse of this mushroom you have to follow on IG (which is set on privacy again - It's how I deal with stress' I guess... - if you don't like it - don't follow) 

Next a lesson in Fuckery ' - really.

With TLC & THC
G
​
Todays word was Abominable.  
My example:
In 2018 people around the world witnessed abominable behaviour displayed by a 'world leader' (who shall remain nameless) yet, as terrible as it has been to watch unfold his  actions have awakened a nation to the ugliness that surround him & it does appear it is forcing  many to wake up,  stand up,  SPEAK up - even if the rest of the world doesn't believe you. 

Happy First day of 2019!!
I hope you are not hung over, if so - I hope it was worth it. 
I painted my first calendar last year, the focus being strange mushrooms! 
One of the best introductions in this lifetime has been to mushrooms- in the wild - this mushroom is called eyelash mushroom & I found one a few years back- more vibrant than this one- I was hooked on these bright red eyelashes looking up at me.​ a.k.a:
 Scutellinia scutellata 
I also discovered there are such things as purple snails - how beautiful is this earth?

I'm grateful for the introduction to my plate as I learned  how many edible mushrooms there are  & to my medicine cabinet  from everything to Lions mane for the brain, turkey tail tea, Chaga coffee for better health & psilocybin  for mental health.
All this mushroom talk has made me hungry- Shiitake in my omelette.
Start the new year off right! Drink your chaga- eat your mushrooms!

With TLC & THC
Georgia

Next...   Fantasia inspired - my plans for this year depicted in paint.    ;)

'If the 3 kings were to bring Jesus gifts NOW.. what do you think they would be?
Would  he get the newest iPhone?  Ferrari?  Gold Rolex? Hell yes!
He's Jesus! & deserves the finest this life has to offer  - lol   perhaps.. BUT  true gifts I believe would be the gift of knowledge - represented by a book (for one) -not an iPhone thats going to distract him every 3 seconds and dumb him down .  ALL  the bling are just things.    Should the 3 wise men arrive this evening in 2018 .. I believe they would bring gifts that have been provided by God himself- natural Medicine  from cannabis for peace & healing to mushrooms (psilocybin) and LSD, gifts to open the mind to experience ALL that life offers.  Was blind but now I see...

In my own experience, I attribute my drug experience in direct correlation with  widening my compassion towards the rest of the world & becoming a more forgiving individual myself & thinking individual...  caring.   Before I would simply be angry - rarely considering the 'other sides opinion,  if anything 'now' I try to consider the other side' first..   If that isn't reason enough I don't know what is.  

I've just watched a documentary called the Psychedelic Pioneers:
The story of the psychedelic pioneers is part leading-edge medical research and part utopian idealism. Three gifted psychiatrists, in combination with an extraordinarily power drug, resulted in one of the most fascinating and controversial periods in Canadian history. Before LSD burst on the scene as fuel for wild psychedelic trips, it had an amazing, yet little-known history. A surprising part of that history was written in a remote corner of the Canadian prairies. Over a span of fifteen years, from when the drug was first administered in 1952 until it was banned and made illegal in 1967, the use of LSD ranged from leading-edge psychiatric research into schizophrenia and alcoholism to volunteer testing on the general public. As word of LSD’s amazing properties began to seep out of the laboratory, artists and intellectuals such as writer Aldous Huxley, filmmaker Paul Saltzman, architect Kyo Izumin and painter Ted Godwin began to experiment and travel to Saskatchewan to have their first experiences with LSD. The Psychedelic Pioneers takes us through the eyes of the three lead doctors involved in the LSD Saskatchewan Project.

I had no idea the documentary would be about a hospital in SASK. Canada- the the 'instruction manual on how to use them safely  for Dr.s & patients(still used today) was  developed by a Canadian. BACK THEN they KNEW it was helping.  Something occurred to me while watching this.. this TN, this condition that is unbelievable to live with  nicknamed the 'suicide disease' that I have lived with for over 7 years (and has consumed me to say the least most days in crippling pain)..  yes, I have considered death being a better option some days... because I think - I have no other options.. but WE DO.
What does it say about a Country that will allow you do discuss legal assisted death for pain before it will allow you to TRY LDS for pain?  

You might be in a situation where you don't even consider such things... thank God.  

I AM done suffering when I KNOW there are options & this new year I will be looking into ALL of them.  I am a 54 year old woman, this is not about getting high, I just want to be able to function, to run my house socialize with family, enjoy time with dogs, work in my garden & continue my painting.. thats' it. I just want a quality of fucking life - where I am not in agonizing pain  and constant fear from a condition that has me thinking I'm going to die several times a day- is that too much to ask? I think not. Will some judge me for it- yes of course.. will they be educated  on the subject - probably not. 

My son laughs when I tell him God has persuaded me - 'Have No Fear' as we go into this new year! & I DO not... quite the opposite, the 'strength I feel  more powerful that I've ever felt in my life, more confident & CONTENT.  It's the MOST powerful drug - when you truly believe in God, in good - in the universe & in my homeboy - Jesus!  
Happy Birthday Jesus!
If born today you would be given the Gifts your father created for the intended  peace & mind of all his children, that's why they are called 'WISE kings'. 

Did you know the Government really cracked down when people using LSD started to speak up about & against the veitnam war.. and we all know how that really went down.  

Happy Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas & Happy Birthday Jesus!

With TLC & THC
Georgia

​Oh, & I woke up today & painted this cartoon:    Wall  or Ladder? Ponder this:

Tis the season for depression.  That is the reality for too many.  You are not alone.
I've seen friends say they don't feel like Christmas at all,  know of some that are having family struggles (don't we all), custody battles - where will the kids spend Christmas, recent  separations & stress over holiday confrontations or alienation... a couple of girlfriend lost their moms this year and are struggling with the first Christmas without - makes me glad mine is still here & cooking all the veggies  -  :).   At the same time  I see & feel their sadness - one friend can't even speak to me about it - we both TEAR up instantly.. she has a huge family & will survive the holiday I'm confident.  How about those with a small or no family.. do you think Christmas is a happy time for all, hardly.

Then there is the stress of Christmas spending, I'm seeing that almost everywhere - this thing about giving people money - what's Christmas going to come to? A banking holiday?  Not sure what to get someone for fear they won't like it, having too many you feel you should buy for, I read the chance of a heart attack of the holidays increaser quite a bit- is it the food? The excess booze? The stress?   Shovelling snow is often a factory btw.. take care.

This year has been incredibly stressful, I try to pretend it's not- yet I'm having difficulty even leaving my home (my trust in humans is not what it was)  & throw in Trump to the list- I'm positive that  orange ape is responsible for an increase in Christmas depression around the globe.

When I look at the effect the toll of stress has had on my own physical body just since the summer - my one side has completely covered in psoriasis that wakes me from pain at night & the scabs on my back and down my right leg to the bottom of my feet -  I'm concerned it's got out of control...  So,  NO - the last thing I'm going to 'let' stress me is Christmas.  Tis the season - it can be very overwhelming for adults & children &  pets - I don't know about you but I'd like to encourage all of you who are feeling blue, sad, depressed - - embrace it  & say FUCK IT! It's just a holiday, just another day - if you're focusing on Jesus- awesome-  as that is the reason  for the season.. Jesus knows  so don't sweat it-  if you can pour yourself a cup of medicated tea or a glass of nice wine.. roll a joint & climb in a  warm tub like this sweet little ginger & slide in and RELAX ('Im about to do this now)  it will be a great start to melting holiday stress... warm jimmies, movie on Netflix , medicate popcorn sprinkled with cinnamon... GIVE yourself a BREAK &  Fuck it.    

With TLC & THC
Georgia 

It's time for  time out.  
Time to enjoy the last few lovely days of August with my girls in the sunshine.
Not continually watch that a POS who runs & destroys the USA. 
When I'm reading about people like #lauralee never  knew who she was until today  and watching her apology video - ( get the backlash... then learning about schools not letting kids attend due to their hair extensions in the USA? Black Children - Of course.
It is Unbelievable this is permitted to happen ANYWHERE in 2018.
WTF Hand maids tale here we come. 

B.C is burning and I can't help wonder about the birds, bees, bears...  and a few I kinda like who live there. I follow a talented baker with the cutest little kid on IG who lives in B.C. & I find myself worried about them.  We can't seem to get it under control - Many Canadians are praying for rain.  So is California.. Hawaii is not feeling very dry at the moment from what I'm starting to read - time out.

And this  poor women- God help her - taken Wednesday (clearly she knew her abductor) how many times is this going to happen to women.. how many women will continue to go missing?  Human Trafficking - women are the greatest victims yet we hardly talk about it.  & we don't talk about the Catholic Church Business right now and the children lives it's ruined  as we make plans to attend mass next Sunday. If you put money in that basket on Sunday you support BIG business - it's how I feel about it - NOW.   WE listen to drama like FAKE people who make money off of being FAKE & stupid in most cases.  People wonder WHY I get stressed when I see a beautiful young woman pose naked on IG  & even SHE gets upset with me  - instantly it's about "Body shaming" Fuck that!  I won't let her twist it around- - her body is beautiful- all women are - It's about  STOP & think about what the fuck you are doing! & anyone who thinks IG or FB has Not helped in the increase of aggression - especially sexually towards women has got to be in Wonderland with Alice. I don't need to be a certified Dr. to come to this conclusion - you?

Think about YOUR safety- Do you read? Are you aware of violence against women? OR how about  - (not 'aboot') think about the example for all the YOUNGER women who will think - in order to get LIKES they have to take it to the next level!  Come on.  & posted on a Business page but addressed my comment personally' and upset yes I saw it with a sexual reference' - hello - if you're going to get upset - don't post the photo.  I don't understand.. here I am worried she's going to get raped and she's mad at me for sharing my opinion. 
Honestly young women (ALL women) who share NUDE photos - ask yourself for everyone who  understands your point be it #freethenipple #nakedisbeautiful  how many perverts do you think are admiring them on and getting off on a  sexual level?  

Anyhow, between the news, nasty Americans..  I broke a finger playing with Daisy this a.m. 
 & Norm & I started the day arguing about having  a fridge full of food and he grabs 'cereal' for lunch, he can't even take a piece of fruit.  Why should I continue to care about his health  if he doesn't.
​
Head pain, twitch pain, brain pain...  It's time to TUNE out and go within. 
At least for the weekend. 

Ending on a positive note on my desk I'm about to start already has me feeling better about the day - I made the best (If I do say so) banana, blueberry - MEDICATED muffins- Heee Heee!  Thank God- Todays breakfast NOW with this finger especially. All FRESH ingredients- and then I made  and amazing (If I do say so- lol) blueberry maple orange sauce o put on top. Nom Nom (Photo below) & Ginger - big girl - can NOW come through the dog door  'into' the house! Yippie! She still has not grasped the same door lets her out - she scratches at the glass- lol I'm not going to encourage her yetI am looking forward to this winter  & snuggling with these two - Norms making me a new bed - Arrrrgh!  He needs to eat better!!    ...Time out.

Spilt any paint lately!?  

With TLC & THC 
​Georgia 

Listen up ladies...  cannabis will be legal in a few months! NOW is the time to get ready, get your pots, soil & seeds & do some research!!  I'm going to promote & even encourage younger woman to try cannabis & use cannabis more than alcohol. 

Have you ever tried to wake a drunk? I have, on too many occasions - it's not nice.  Drunks are like dead weight, incoherent and if you do wake them they have trouble focusing, functioning and only want to sleep it OFF'.. let's not forget DATE RAPE & alcohol.  I don't need to get into it, I can say with much experience...  smoking a couple of joints - when the situation called for me to focus & function - I was able. There's nothing like good buzz kill to sober you up from a HIGH from cannabis. You hear people talk about it all the time- BUZZ kill- sobering talk can get you down from a high too- unlike alcohol. 

I believe cannabis is safer- what better way for women to finally have a hand up in this situation - Plant, grow & smoke your own cannabis! Be in control of your high. TRY it with some girlfriends before you smoke with others- you might not be as comfortable with.  These places - not legal to grow-  it's a human right- I feel & hope  there will be a few cases brought to and TOSSED out  -of court.   There is no way upu can be banned from GROWING 4 PLANTS - YOU don't need all the 'hubbub'  many before us were able to grow just nicely.  Research! Get ready & be free.. free to feel good without a hangover- don't give into peer pressure... you chances of being date raped - when you smoke your own cannabis and don't get passed out DRUNK... are slim.   

I'm focusing on women & cannabis, day & night ladies- it's time to get control of your life, high & future.  Older MOMs- out there reading and who don't agree with me- I suggest YOU spark up with YOUR daughters- teach & experience with them what it will be like before they try it with a stranger. It's NOT criminal - wanting to feel high is only natural, why not seize the opportunity to do it 'right'.  What is criminal... is not caring enough to figure it out before something negative can happen., sadly - negative stuff happens every day.

with TLC & THC
Georgia 

Happy Canada Day Weekend!  
​Enjoy the heat- you'll be wishing for it in January ;)
Back to my break... & painting peacefully.

I get it.

Have you watched 100% hotter?  
It's all about beauty & the beast. 
The beast called BEAUTY' .  
Insecure, lonely, sad beautiful people - afraid to be - themselves.  
What will happen when make - up doesn't cut it anymore? 
Your guess is as good as mine...
I guess they will follow Anthony's footsteps  sooner or later.

Afraid to leave their homes, afraid to interact with others without the mask.
Who are you?  Can you be seen as you truly ARE?  Hmmm? 
My mask is off... with it came off the rose colored glasses. 

Thinking about Anthony, all he witnessed, lived, tried... tasted,   I get it. 
It's enough to put a sour taste in anyones stomach & he was witness more than most.  
Suicide is still taboo - because people do not want to admit they ARE part of the problem.  We are all part of the problem. Have you watched Audrie & Daisy?
 IF I had a daughter I would sit her down & watch it with her  & TALK about it.
*Talk about Alcohol while YOU are at it.  It is a common denominator.

In a world FULL Of humans - to feel so alone... this is the problem.
What does  'it' matter? The money, travel, food.. all stuff.
​All stuff that does not matter when you constantly witness cruelties against each other, he was aware of this #metoo thing, if I had to guess - in all his travels,  he's witnessed more than most and was just tired. I get it.

I am so tired some days.. mostly due to this condition  attacking the right 1/2 of my body, from head to toe - spend an hour with me and you will witness it, I guarantee. I've even doubted my ability to travel lately, France seems so far away some days,  traveling to the mailbox  feels like an adventure.  The constant reminders that so few understand or try to understand  if what frustrates me the most, I therefore enjoy days of solitude -where no explaining is necessary. This past weekend I was alone ALL weekend and felt very refreshed at the end of it.  I was very much in the NOW.  
I have had 'family' throw it in my face..  which was a terrific lesson- You should learn to walk/run away from people - get them out of your life 'FAMILY' is just a word- not everyone deserves to BE in your life- no matter WHO they are. 

With examples like Trump running 'the show' my trust in humans diminishes daily.  What if Trump attempts to commit suicide & decides to take a few countries out as he goes?  I think he has clearly proven how unstable he is in countless ways..   
Anything is possible - clearly he is president after all.

Yes, this painting depicts how I feel, physically.
I'm sorry my son knows how I feel above all else.. but he also understands events in my/our life &  how 'I got this way'.  He KNOWS I try every day to be better, to be positive to be love...   to just BE.

I don't need or want pity- this is more or less me  "coming out" because I KNOW I am not alone, I KNOW many feel like I do.. I know some young ladies in particular feel exactly like I do & have  a harder time NOW with social media- it's an entirely new level of added pressures for most.  

Watch Audrie & Daisy- worried about your kids and cannabis?
Watch Audrie & Daisy and learn what you would be concerned about.
My art has saved my life time and time again.  Focus on your passions.

I do often tell people  "If not for my brain pain- my life would be perfect.."
it's learning to LIVE with the PAIN.  So far so good. 
I also have  incredible Dr.s  who Listen & TALK and keep me here without antidepressants' & remind me: I do have reason to feel the way I do.. it's NOT all in my head.
 
I know I push people away - constantly.
Some look forward to it- then they don't have to SEE what I am living with. 
For those that remain thank you for your understanding & love, all others..
​
Fuck you, you're not worth the mental energy I could be using towards painting.

Suicide rates are on the increase with Canadian women:   I get it. 
​globalnews.ca/news/4274136/suicide-rates-women-men-canada/
Clearly, I AM not alone.   
For now... I am in good hands.  
So is Anthony.
Gods.

Back to Sloths & cannabis next.. back to painting what makes me smile.
Thank God.   Make yourself SMILE.

Dear Anthony - I get it.
Your call.

With TLC & THC
​Georgia
​