Have you watched 100% hotter?
It's all about beauty & the beast.
The beast called BEAUTY' .
Insecure, lonely, sad beautiful people - afraid to be - themselves.
What will happen when make - up doesn't cut it anymore?
Your guess is as good as mine...
I guess they will follow Anthony's footsteps sooner or later.
Afraid to leave their homes, afraid to interact with others without the mask.
Who are you? Can you be seen as you truly ARE? Hmmm?
My mask is off... with it came off the rose colored glasses.
Thinking about Anthony, all he witnessed, lived, tried... tasted, I get it.
It's enough to put a sour taste in anyones stomach & he was witness more than most.
Suicide is still taboo - because people do not want to admit they ARE part of the problem. We are all part of the problem. Have you watched Audrie & Daisy?
IF I had a daughter I would sit her down & watch it with her & TALK about it.
*Talk about Alcohol while YOU are at it. It is a common denominator.
In a world FULL Of humans - to feel so alone... this is the problem.
What does 'it' matter? The money, travel, food.. all stuff.
All stuff that does not matter when you constantly witness cruelties against each other, he was aware of this #metoo thing, if I had to guess - in all his travels, he's witnessed more than most and was just tired. I get it.
I am so tired some days.. mostly due to this condition attacking the right 1/2 of my body, from head to toe - spend an hour with me and you will witness it, I guarantee. I've even doubted my ability to travel lately, France seems so far away some days, traveling to the mailbox feels like an adventure. The constant reminders that so few understand or try to understand if what frustrates me the most, I therefore enjoy days of solitude -where no explaining is necessary. This past weekend I was alone ALL weekend and felt very refreshed at the end of it. I was very much in the NOW.
I have had 'family' throw it in my face.. which was a terrific lesson- You should learn to walk/run away from people - get them out of your life 'FAMILY' is just a word- not everyone deserves to BE in your life- no matter WHO they are.
With examples like Trump running 'the show' my trust in humans diminishes daily. What if Trump attempts to commit suicide & decides to take a few countries out as he goes? I think he has clearly proven how unstable he is in countless ways..
Anything is possible - clearly he is president after all.
Yes, this painting depicts how I feel, physically.
I'm sorry my son knows how I feel above all else.. but he also understands events in my/our life & how 'I got this way'. He KNOWS I try every day to be better, to be positive to be love... to just BE.
I don't need or want pity- this is more or less me "coming out" because I KNOW I am not alone, I KNOW many feel like I do.. I know some young ladies in particular feel exactly like I do & have a harder time NOW with social media- it's an entirely new level of added pressures for most.
Watch Audrie & Daisy- worried about your kids and cannabis?
Watch Audrie & Daisy and learn what you would be concerned about.
My art has saved my life time and time again. Focus on your passions.
I do often tell people "If not for my brain pain- my life would be perfect.."
it's learning to LIVE with the PAIN. So far so good.
I also have incredible Dr.s who Listen & TALK and keep me here without antidepressants' & remind me: I do have reason to feel the way I do.. it's NOT all in my head.
I know I push people away - constantly.
Some look forward to it- then they don't have to SEE what I am living with.
For those that remain thank you for your understanding & love, all others..
Fuck you, you're not worth the mental energy I could be using towards painting.
Suicide rates are on the increase with Canadian women: I get it.
Clearly, I AM not alone.
For now... I am in good hands.
So is Anthony.
Back to Sloths & cannabis next.. back to painting what makes me smile.
Thank God. Make yourself SMILE.
Dear Anthony - I get it.
With TLC & THC