I've noticed a trend on television.  Even while watching the Grinch on netflix (newest version) the topic of childhood trauma- explaining why he grew up being a Grumpy Grinch. 
Nurse Ratchet- 'nailed' childhood abuse so well - I can't watch it without feeling TOO emotional,  that show triggeres negative emotions in me - I know better than to watch, even though I did find it entertaining.

I can't watch anything with drunks - it puts me in a bad MOOD.  The thing with depression is you feel depressed already - then there are many outside factors that can also add to not feeling well, other humans, shows we watch, songs we hear..  even smells can trigger negative emotions in people who have been abused.  Alcohol abuse & domestic abuse are excalated right now, my heart breaks when I think of all the little kids that can NOT escape the abuse in their own home.  Locked in with abusers.   As we watch in all these movies -  some grow up to be Grumpy Grinches in many cases, even worse -some go on to repeat and escalate violence on their own children.    FUELED by alcohol. 
A few weeks ago I read in the Globe & Mail - one mom wrote how after 7 months with her newborn she got drunk & the next day was the first time she resented her baby,  because she was SICK and HUNGOVER.  That's how easy it becomes.  She vowed then not to drink again and take it out on her child. WOW.  If only this awakening would come to all mothers... & fathers.

My problem is often a simple 'visual reminder', to this day I cannot look at a mail slot in a door. It brings back memories of the time my mom slid my cheeseburger through the mail slot ( I was little, under 7)  & STILL can see what I saw when I peeked out the mail slot as my mother and her boyfriend laughed and ran off...  leaving me alone to eat my lunch.  
I still remember the feeling/thinking  is this a game?
I'd like to play too!
Only now, realizing it as an adult  makes me feel anger. Some days 'Livid'.
The dog ate my cheeseburger.  She soon got rid of the dog.
I was physically, verbally & mentally abused  but it's that mailslot that hurts the most, still.  That was just cruel, I can't imagine ever doing that to a child... ever.
I still don't understand it & never will - trust me - I've tried.  
Forget it- I fucking wish I could, I've had family, friend, Dr.s,  teachers, priests, nuns lol all suggest I just move past it. Tell my mind not to think these things when I see a mail box.  Our mind reminds us for a reason...  for protection.

Do you know, who does not understand why I can't forget about this:
EVERYONE.. everyone who's never been fed a cheese burger by thier drunk mother through a mail slot.  Give thanks if you don't have such memories.

Childhood trauma- are you drinking more than usual?
​Are you getting drunk and it's hurting your children?  
Let me remind you:  They grow up... they do not forget - even though they try. 
Childhood trauma - they can't forget.  
Please do not drink Alcohol if you are struggling with it & causing your children pain.

What to paint - I was going to paint a mail slot but it's too depressing - lol
so here's another puppet.. for all my Buds. Have fun... I did.

​G

I'd like to start this mental health week on a positive note with a positive suggestion:
Go into this winter (lockdown) with the mind of a caterpillar & in the spring prepare to emerg & transfigure into 2021  stronger, healthier & wiser. Why not!?
How can anyone not be wiser after all this.  I'd like to share a couple suggestions of what I KNOW works for me - it can't hurt.. yes, I've had experience with depression before a pandemic - 202o was one of our happiest years. So here goes, a few pointers to prevent depression spiraling out of control.

-Have Faith.  I can't express it enough... To have faith is everything - to have Faith is to have faith in me.  Have Faith we will continue through this.

-If you are struggling with thoughts of giving up, be brave and ask to speak to someone.
I had/have 2 Dr.s  who speak & listen... explain.  God  sent my Dr.s, I know it now.  
"I promise you Georgia, it will get better... soon you will meet someone & have your own family.."   said my Dr. sitting in his office (after hours) as he stitched me up for  'cutting', a little too deep 'that time' & I was too embarrassed to go to the hospital.  I cut my arms , thighs, abdomen with a razore blade for years... my mother never seemed to notice,  I found out later, she informed others I did it because "I was fucked up"... I sure was.  I cut because I did NOT know how to deal with the depression, I cut to hurt myself because I felt I was not wanted. I cut because I was the only one I could control.  I cut becuase it felt better to hurt myself than others. I am reminded by scars physical & mental.  
Find someone to talk to - if you can't find someone - there's ALWAYS Jesus.  

-Do not drink alcohol. So much abuse could be avoided without alcohol.  All you have to do is 'pass on the alcohol.  Because, I was raised in a 'alcohol home there are times during this pandemic - I've condiered getting drunk to forget it all, if only for a few hours. Yikes.  Not a good time to get drunk and wallow - it's easy to be swallowed by depression with all currently happening. Don't do it.. it only dulls the feelings, nothing goes away.
​After excessive alcohol, problems are usually worse as well as feeling hung over.  
I treat myself to LUCs brew in a wine glass- LOVE the blueberry Basil,  not only is it tasty, refreshing- it's good for me. Alcohol Free.   It's your choice.

Read. Craft.. learn to speak a new language...  I learned to speak Goat - just as Nugget.
Why not- NOW is the time to dream & transform - ready to spread our wings & FLY when...  we can.

With THC & TLC
​Georgia
  

Ho ho ho!

Well, the next bird houses are on the table waiting for paint - they look good without - so I'm confident they will sell quickly as Chicken lover Christmas Gifts! Tom has done quite well with who he has donated $$$ to to date! Bravo.  I'm happy to help.

I’ve been busy creating Christmas gifts & making Christmas cards - I made  one card that had me buckled over in laughter (long story - for another day) & had me thinking about a surprise ‘Hero’ of 2020 - more later.  So, making cards makes me feel good.. when I’m reading about a woman who was legally assisted to die (in Canada) -because she did not want to endure another lock down alone. Let alone Christmas..  Tis the season.

I’m painting gifts - that keeps me thinking about the recipient(s) - whom I must care for or  I would not be panting gifts,  I can’t ‘fake it’ - not even painting.  It’s always a joy… so I’ll keep busy painting gifts for  a few I enjoy thinking about this Christmas.   I am thinking about SO MANY this Christmas in particular - all around the world I have friends- how blessed is that - and not just one’s I’ve made on social media - real humans - I’ve been blessed with meeting  - when we could meet and hug, snuggle, smooch.. laugh with, wink at… when we could.   With out feeling guilty about it. 
I’m confident some will feel it - across the miles… My love for them.

I hope everyone is focusing on themselves and what keeps us smiling.. if only on the inside for now - mask free.  Alcohol is a depressant - please remember this - me too. 
Shop local!!!  Your neighbour needs it more than Jeff Bezos - holy cow.. don’t get me started. There is a song on Canoe Fm  100.9 (love it) - “Don’t get me started…”  a song I know many are singing this year.   Speaking of- Canoe- they really promote Indigenous MUSIC  & it’s a terrific idea to introduce someone to Canadian artists - buy a CD - support a Canadian band - not preforming due to the pandemic.

I bought Canadian & locally and artisan  including the terrific paddles from the Halliburton Forest! Time to get back painting those paddles!  Time to get back painting and watch some Christmas movie to stimulate painting ideas- even if,  not in the 'jolliest' mood.

With TLCandiecanes. 

Blue moon... I was blue too.
Halloween, I did not wish to promote. 
I did create art .. I'll save it for next year
I'm actually testing out new paper!  Getting my usual black paper was a hastle..
NOW  available in a pad form (thank you Universe)  I love it &
I've been extra busy - playing with it.

Mental health Monday - blue Monday.
I don't know about you but I am physically tired and mentaly zapped. Punn intended.
There is too much going on at the moment - hard to believe that some are more worried about the POS than the Pandemic. Or rather - the mayhem expect to  ensue after the VOTE.
Another lockdown is  imminent because the Government... no, because WE (HUMANS) can't get our shit together and stay home for 3 weeks. Or wear masks when out in public.
Add  the time change and tell my pup that 4 am is too early to go out to pee.
Yup, I'm pooped.  I know I am not alone.
Many are way more tired than I am - like essential workers.  
Thank you.

The snow is beautiful -  it brings a blanket of calm and cold, perfect for napping.
It's more important to my own mental health to slow down like winter sometimes demands.
I hope you (whom ever you be) are taking time to rest - it is essential - more than your work.
It's work to stay focused and not allow depression to consume.  
I've got a painting on the easel, one on my desk and sketch pad on the coffee table & 4 blank bird houses on my kitchen table... it is essential WE all work - even if we are staying at home all day- see it as an opportunity to become better. Mom's see it as more work  I've been reading. 

At anything... that's the best advice for mental health IMO - learn a new  hobby that you enjoy.  The rest will do itself.
Alcohol consumption (drug in general is ) UP.. I know myself - have felt like a glass of wine more often than usual - so I've decided NOT to have any.  it is an educated choice I am making- alcohol is a depressant.  Alcohol is addictive - very.  
Seek help if drinking is a problem as I can guarantee you, it is a problem for others around you too.  Don't choose to make this  pandemic experience worse with alcohol. 
Smoke 'a' joint..  if you can nap and then  get creative.
I hope I get energy to get creative in the kitchen- some cookies are calling!

I am focusing on editorials,  it's how my own mind ' vents'  and then...  I smile.
On my mind - Ho Ho Holidays.  Lot's of material this year- go Figure.
Stay tooned.

When this journey started I had a very limited, narrow-minded opinion' of drug addiction, drug abuse and addicts.  I've asked for forgiveness on all those I judged as "sick" or criminals"  I was blind but now I see.   

Unless you KNOW someones complete past history - how can you judge them?  We do. I do.
Do you know what led someone to becoming a drug addict?  I use to assume it was a choice.  Ha.   I've since learned (for only one example) many young KIDS become addicted to opiates due to sports injuries - did they have criminal intent?  Did they think they would become drug addicts? Did their parents?  

How about a person who steals?  
Norm & I did steal, many years ago, a case of baby food (times were tuff) I asked for forgiveness & then made sure we donated  food to the food bank, for over a decade, LOTS - from our halloween events. I'm good with God about it.  Am I ashamed about it,  NOPE. 
We did what we needed to do at the time  - until the next paycheque.  
What makes someone a criminal? Sadly, many will have to make some choices soon along those criminal lines.  No work, Covid lingers (because don't get it and don't wear a mask out in public places)  bills don't stop.  
What will push someone over the edge? A hungry child will, I guarentee it.
Are they criminals for wanting to feed their family or just trying to survive?

Those who harm, hurt or steal from individuals - just take to take or prosper - are criminals and they will be dealt with sooner or later.  I've stopped thinking of any addict as a criminal or SICK.  Sick are the powers that be and decide to jail people who are sick.  The jail is FULL of sick people, mostly men who have struggled their entire lives- most abused their entire lives.  In Canada, mostly indegenous, black & poor are in jail.

Alcoholics,  men & women - tossed in jail when drunk. Yet booze (poison in a bottle) is readily available in corner stores.  In some communities - more easily available and cheaper  than food.  We all have a vice', some it's food - just look at obesity rates- are you going to tell me it's not an addiction - a drug for millions?  Alcohol, pills, cannabis, shopping..  cats.   The things that keep us gong are wider than I realized.  What is your addiction - what do you feel you could not live without and must get more of?   For some the answer will be Food. Not as an addiction but necessity. 

I don't think anyone would choose crime if we ALL had the necessities in life.  Food, Water & shelter.  Many right now are living in FEAR of being evicted, feeding their kids and paying their bills... many right now are still dying- from cancer.  Countless are suffering mentally, financially and physically - when they steal to survive - to feed their kids, keep the house warm this winter -  will you call them a criminal & judge them..  or will you TRY to help - simply by not judging.

So be honest- what  or who controls your cortex?
​Drugs? Booze? Food? Sex? Pills? Porn? Cats? Plants?

You are what you think about. 
I think, I'll go create something BEAUTIFUL.

Next.. something beautiful ;) hee hee
 & being grounded - in more ways than one.
​
with THC & TLC
Georgia 

Another Holiday Monday! It's raining and there no such thing as a holiday on a farm - lol 
What an education this all is, this tiny farm.  Life.  Up with the roosters - no sleeping in with feathers & fur relying on you.  Keeping busy is good for the sole & mind & body.  I'm always stiff in the morning - with age let alone arthritis... not until Im up and active & loosen it all us does the pain of stiffness subside.  Use it or lose it!  
Farmers deserve more respect than they are given, feeding humans - is lots of work.
​I do NOT consider us farmers'  -  this is a hobby.
I'm learning to pickle eggs! I give eggs away too.. chances are they have faces on them.  

I can't imagine  drinking to the point of a hang over and having to deal with animals... they don't care if humans are hung over.  I hate hang overs so much I am grateful for  having experienced some "doozies"  in the past.. lessons learned - it took a while. 
I just won't anymore. It's not worth destroying braincells for a "feel good"... is it feel good?   Compared to cannabis  the more I think of it- the less I think alcohol makes anyone "feel good".  Sure it relaxes the body and mind - too much sometimes.    
It's sad when you understand,  Alcohol is the number one date rape DRUG. 
Think about it for a moment.   

Some drink to forget.  I use to use that escuse myself, a few times.  Ha.
It might make you forget for a bit, until it makes you wallow & get stuck in exactly what you were trying to forget about.  I remember my mom crying a lot drunk, aways talking about the same stuff.  Her past pains passed on to me during drunken stupors - because I was there to listen.  Told so many times and then left to ponder, I bet my mom has no clue as how much I remember of the details... coats, bundle buggies, curtains being closed, sibling rivalry  (I was not raised with my siblings so I don't know about it) all on how she suffered.  Who cares.
 That's part of the problem.. not many do care. Then or now.  I get it.  I think Melania was kinda right. GASP - yuk but... yep.   Not many really care.  They are distracted with their own lives.  AS life intended. Throw in Covid... big distraction going on.

The only thing anyone should care about NOW is breaking the cycle.
​RECOGNIZE & don't repeat what YOU did not enjoy as a child/adolescent.  How about that?  It's a holiday!
​Does that mean you're going to get 'shit faced'  (term for getting drunk)?
Sure go ahead! IF YOU don't have kids you are responsible for. 
They don't need to listen to your past pains  I think as parents we should be trying to make their path easier - even if it means sharing not pleasant topics by talking, educating (not impaired)  the more the tiny humans know the better they will be.  They are smarter than most realize. Id rather a child be taught early about "molestation" than to learn by having it happen - because they did not know - to say "NO!"  

? Tuff call.
Tomorrow is a tuff call for many parents... back to school  during covid - as it slowly creeps back up.  Pray for strength to get through, because life has to go on. 

The hamster was my 16th birthday gift, my friends wanted to take me out for my sweet 16th I was told "NO, come right home, we are celebrating"                YAAAY!
I spent the evening alone, no special dinner, no cake.  I was waken up around 2:00a.m. and given my birthday gift...  which I loved.  I guess she got side tracked. I was use to it.
Teddy died a couple of YEARS later while eating a McDonalds french fry, he was so old and arthritic he could hardly walk.  He was a wonderful, adorable pet & tiny companion.

With THC & TLC     I hope you have an alcohol free holiday!
Break the cycle. Life is not all cracked up as were led to believe.. hee hee- egg jokes.
Oh-  My chickens count how many eggs they lay!   They are mathemachickens.    
 lol Heard it on the radio, canoe.
​ 
Georgia

  Did you get to play Hookey (skip school for fun) when little?  I did! Yay!   I did get to skip school several times,  I was not good at school & now understand why.. no kidding.  I don't recall having any homework help.. ever,  this can't be true.   Can it?  I remember my aunt Marine  taught me how to tie my shoes & draw.  Yes, I was allowed to stay home from school - but not for some cool games or adventure.

I specifically recall on one occasion  when my aunt seemed a bit shocked, this was after a night of drinking to the point of vomiting,  that was normal - you didn't 'drink'  or "party"
until you puked. Often evenings  started with cheering:  "Party till you Puke!"
 I think it was big in the 70's as a common saying.  Maybe not. Throwing up was a regular weekend event - for as long as I remember.

Back to playing hookey.. I was allowed to stay home from school on several occasions - no, let me correct that -  I was made to stay home on several occasions  to clean spew buckets  & make campbells Cream of Mushroom soup & get Ginger-ale for my mom and aunt all day as they recouped from their hangovers.   I was told to be quiet & called only when someone  threw up... Yay!  My aunt at the time seemed shocked I was so good at this task, I had practice.  I've wondered over the years if she ever kept her kids home to nurse her hangovers...  maybe not.  The circle usually continues.

Fuck that. I intentionally pulled Storm out of school (at least 3 times a year) to have FUN!  Sometimes we'd invite his best bud & take them to the falls for the weekend.. hookey is about fun - or should be.  

I guess I painted the bowl of soup over sharing the spew (spew was the word for Vomit in case you are confused) bucket image..  I have no pleasant memories - I struggle to think of them. I give up now.  

Parents who consume alcohol in large amounts... what memories will you create for your children to ponder later in life?  I don't waste too much time- they come and go. Addressing them recently has helped, if only me...  This shit did happen. No wonder you feel like I do from time to time.  It was not fair, it is life - for many.  
​Any 'teens'- who might be reading this:  
Focus on your dreams & gifts, get out and BE who you are meant to be... you don't have to repeat the lessons we learn.

I wished I had good memories, it's too bad the terrible ones stick to us most.  Instead I NOW CREATE (as well as art) good memories - EVERY FUCKING day!  If I knew bald felt so good- I'd have shaved YEARS ago, lol.  Norm & I are having so much fun, lots of laughter...  the fireplace is in, has been inspected! Passed with FLYING colours - of course.

Children are gifts from God- to be loved & educated and encouraged - much more important than alcohol & partying until you PUKE-  Get that shit out of the way before you have children & then... Mature the fuck up.  WE chose to bring these babies into this planet - not them. If you have an alcohol abuse problem, SEEK HELP. 

Next (& Winnie the Pooh).  ​

We are also looking forward to this.......

I had just won the art award in highschool & was at my grandma's when a family member remarked "We always knew you were going to be an artist! You use to paint the walls with shit!" ...several looked at each other and laughed - I did too.  

I laughed until I understood.  Then I cried.
I had heard this a few times as I got older, you see I thought it was kinda funny... taking off my diaper & drawing on the walls with my shit - how creative of me! I guess I was born an artist.  It wasn't until I realized - much later in life - this was a very common occurance and many had found me covered in caked on shit.. sitting in my crib with shit on the walls.
It was not a one time thing.  It was a sign of serious neglect.  

My mother did not care if I shit myself.. apparently I would be found  and someone would take pity & bath me. I should consider myself lucky she did not give a shit about me being covered in shit.. I doubt she would have been any more atttentitive or loving with me in the tub - washing off the shit.   Some shit never washes off. 

I hear stories of people when they are little and they are cute & loving.. I think awwwww.
This was not my childhood.  I know I spent way too much time alone, my entire childhood.
I try NOW to understand EVERY thing happens for a reason but still I struggle - what was the reason God- I was given to someone who did not want me or love me?  So, at the age of 56 I can still be effected by this SHIT and brought to tears- UNTIL I remember - NEVER AGAIN - will I give that person the satisfaction of ever treating me like SHIT again.  
Yes, I will continue - so every Monday is a reminder to me & hopefully to others..

I know my mother was seriously struggling with depression & was an alcholic, that does not make it an excuse to abuse your child.  Are you depressed? Is you child suffering because  it?  GET help. 
Are you a family member who sees a child being neglected?   WTF?    HELP MORE!
Are you an adult now, still haunted by your childhood memories?  
Acknowledge, understand - IT WAS NEVER YOU!  Breath and go create!
You are a child of GOD- still here for a reason! Go create - Be joyful - that is the best success  & way to thank God.  I'm glad I was such a creative tiny being who was able to amuse myself painting with shit.. lol 
NOW, I paint to forget shit.. once I start painting  - all disappears, Thank GOD.
People alwasy comment on the amount I paint..  I paint to keep painfree - in more ways than anyone might imagine.  I focus on what & whom I love NOW, those who don't love me - can focus on what ever the fuck they want - who needs people like that in their lives?
NOT ME.  
Next week - playing HOOKEY!  Day's I got to stay home...... yippie.

Aren't you all glad I can NOW afford paint!?   hahaha  
Fuck that past shit!
I'm going to not give a shit while I smoke some really good shit  (thanks Son!)
& contemplate what kinda shit I'll get into, next.

;)

I NEVER, ever let my son sit in a dirty diaper. Not once.  
I gave him paint while he was still in diapers. I loved him with every breath, still do.
He liked to play in the dirt more... clearly with Love his passion GREW!  hee hee
& yesterday I painted 'a gardeners prayer- inspired by proverbs & the bible...
I'll share tomorrow.

with TLC & THC
​Me.

It's a holiday & I was considering taking a break.. then realized- that's part of the porblem.  No one wants to hear this shit on a holiday, take a break...  Does abuse take a break?
Fuck no - it's escalated on holidays, so Cheers!.

I was taught to hate holidays. I still do.. or rather I hate the usual celebration that accompanies them - Excessive Alcohol consumption. Time to get 'shitfaced' - it's a holiday tomorrow...  Good day for a hangover.  That's how we think  (how I use to think).. too many do, still.  I struggle with most "celebrations", I usually just act like it's just another day- because in reality, it is.

At 18 I was given a raise, my first real job 'Talent Showcase' (hiring extras for music videos and movies being shot in Toronto & area) I was thrilled! & it was a good raise!! My then boyfriend, Adraino was taking me out for dinner and dancing & to celebrate! I just wanted to run up (I lived in an apartment) & change..  change I did.

I went straight to my room, got on my favorite current dress a raw silk, black & white, simple yet classy & great to dance in... on the way out  I was asked   "where are YOU going?"
I didn'nt speak much as my mother was usually drininking and I didn't want to set her off- not that it took much on my part.  
​I relpied excited (because I was):   "I got a raise & Draino is taking me out to celebrate!"
My mothers response...    " A raise?!  How does your bosses cock taste?"    
Yep.   No, I do to forget it, those words.   Because, you know - I could not have possibly been good enough at my job to deserve a raise.. clearly, I had to be fucking him in her mind (I was NOT HER though - I did not suck my bosses cock or fuck him - ever) I told her to "fuck off" and proceeded to leave.. Nope.  
I was tackled, punched until I cowered on the floor, hair pulled, make up slapped off my face.   Called the usual array of names: cunt, slut, fucking whore..   My stepdad sat & watched (inebriated as well)  he TOO, knew better than to intervene with her intoxicated hatred towards me.  I was beat repeatedly until Draino opened the door, he came looking for me wondering why I was taking so long, (thankfully) and yanked that bitch off of me and held a fist to her face & said  "If you ever touch her again I'll punch you in the fucking face because she won't"  and pulled me out of my apartment.
He was never allowed to visit again.  I was humiliated, we broke up soon after.  
She remembered what he said but not what she did & SHE NEVER EVER said SORRY.
All I ever got was "...I don't remember I was drunk."  
FUCKING LIES Drunks tell us & themselves.

We did not go out dancing, my dress was torn and my spirit defeated.. again. I was use to it. I was harder because Draino saw it.   I was ashamed when my friends saw me getting beat up - as IF I had actually done something wrong.  The look of shock on their face - overtime was hard for me to see.  That's what happens when you are beaten as a toddler. You are taught to be ashamed.. I must be bad if my mom is hitting me again.
That's how it was was with every celebration in my life..  EVERY thing she could - she added misery to.  She was miserable ALWAYS,  I was going to be too.  So, why not share on this holiday MONDAY...  abuse will be higher today & that is a fact, whether you choose to ignore it or not.  If you see someone & you think "they should be celebrating",  back off - perhaps  they do not have as much to celebrate as you 'think'..
​I use to get 'that too   ..."why aren't you happy??"   Buzzkill..    yep, quite often my buss was killed - but not by me.

The day I got accepted into school/college (you know how exciting that is!) was the same thing...  I went to school in tears because I had got accepted & she said  'I wasn't going.. she wasn't going to pay for me to go & draw'.  My teacher (Mrs Lockhart) helped me with paper work and I received a grant & loan.  I  never got any encouragement from her EVER, not once did she ask me what I was doing in college EVER.. I only lasted a year.  
​I wondered if I had gotten just a bit of encouragement,  if I would have stuck it out.  Oh well. 

So, if you are an adult & celebrating with alcohol On this Holiday - try not to over indulge - not if your going to become abusive and give your children holiday memories they'll never forget. Or do- the choice is yours... if your children hate you when you are older- remember- the CHOICE WAS yours.   It's still difficult for me to "celebrate" anything.. I have a fear in me that sooner or later something or someone will say something negative...   beat it into me, still. 

I will celebrate this glorious day- by painting, checking on the animals and just enjoying the moment. Grateful to e HERE NOW.  Painting Iridescent Eve in the garden... next.

with TLC & THC 
​Next week,  how everyone KNEW I was going to be an artist- yay!  lol 

     Truly my biggest struggle during this pandemic has been - not being able to see Storm.
I miss him  like I've never known, we all do... Daisy the most.  I've gone through stages, one week I could not face-time,  I'd start to cry.  Storm looked especially tired a few weeks back.  & it's heart breaking not to see him for so long.. no hugs.

 I woke like a BEAR the other day, roaring about something or other.. could'nt get the fire started, yelling at Norm for the raccons keeping me up, grumpy with the girls (gasp),  Maries mom passed,  Carms got extra work like crazy looking after her parents, wondering about my own,  could'nt get paint, no canvas  & then...  what seemed to be the final straw: The Canoe radio  100.9FM DJ   made  a wise crack about cannabis not being "an esential serivce"  & I LOST IT.  Yes, you know it... that DJ had a quick, BLUNT education on CANNABIS BEING a fucking esential service via text - several as a matter of fact.
Cannabis for those who forget is a MEDICINE FOR MANY.

We all know why the L.C.B.O is open. ADDICTION.  Alcoholics needing a fix - they won't dare close it- there would be riots. Cannabis he said was more of a 'comfort thing' in his mind. Arrrrrgh..  & really, not a very intelligent, 'current' remark to make. I have no doubts MANY in this community use cannabis.  It was simply judgemental, especially in an older community that could benifit from cannabis insteads of the chemical cocktails that far too many are on.  Anyhow, I love  Canoe (I listen all day, everyday) & ALL that I hear on the air, sound lovely so, I apologized for my 'abruptness' but not the remarks.  Come meet me I invited, see my twitich get a bit calmer with cannabis,  SEE my hands and feet and KNOW  it's all I use for pain- NO killer opiates here. Phhhbt.

NOT essential!? Don't tell me that, when I know Storms working day & night!!  
I can't visit, cook for him.. his dad can't drive down to pop in for a beer.. Arrrgh.
​He's not eating properly.  We miss him, he misses us & phone calls are not the same, sometimes he just bugs me & I hang up. lol  He's busy, frustraited, lonely, tired and others days he's better than fine, keeping busy (like us) and moving FORWARD. Pandemic or no... Time's not going to stand still.

I decided to paint my favorite photo taken at one of the grows he manages. It MADE ME happy spending the day with Storm (in only on canvas) - it worked! I was/am in a great mood! Giggling thinking of the many wonderful memories we have. The 3 of us. I'll hang it right by my desk.  Can you see my pride in the painting? hee hee   The 'white' seems harsh - but it was, BRIGHT with grow lights- LOTS.  There are several guys ALL working very hard (with Storm) to provide medicine & recreational relief.  With less help due to the pandemic they are working OVERtime and should be treated like others - respectfully - as all esential employees so the rest of us can stay home.  SERIOUSLY, thank your growers.

Thank you guys!!  I love you all (you know who you are) and appreciate ALL you do... all the time.  

Grocery clerks, gas station attendants, Radio Dj's, Garbage truck drivers - ALL keeping US, safe at home - while they MUST work.  Amen.  Thank YOU! 

Thank God for the internet... makes you feel more for all those moms during war time and only letters for communication.  If this pandemic doesnt have you appreciating almost EVERYTHING MORE - well.. I don't know what would.   17,000 deaths in Ontario, alone.
I had no idea, I've been trying to distract myself.  
​Depression & anxiety on the increase... the next pandemic.

With TLC & THC 
Georgia