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Mental health Monday - An artist was born.

10/8/2020

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Picture
I had just won the art award in highschool & was at my grandma's when a family member remarked "We always knew you were going to be an artist! You use to paint the walls with shit!" ...several looked at each other and laughed - I did too.  

I laughed until I understood.  Then I cried.
I had heard this a few times as I got older, you see I thought it was kinda funny... taking off my diaper & drawing on the walls with my shit - how creative of me! I guess I was born an artist.  It wasn't until I realized - much later in life - this was a very common occurance and many had found me covered in caked on shit.. sitting in my crib with shit on the walls.
It was not a one time thing.  It was a sign of serious neglect.  

My mother did not care if I shit myself.. apparently I would be found  and someone would take pity & bath me. I should consider myself lucky she did not give a shit about me being covered in shit.. I doubt she would have been any more atttentitive or loving with me in the tub - washing off the shit.   Some shit never washes off. 

I hear stories of people when they are little and they are cute & loving.. I think awwwww.
This was not my childhood.  I know I spent way too much time alone, my entire childhood.
I try NOW to understand EVERY thing happens for a reason but still I struggle - what was the reason God- I was given to someone who did not want me or love me?  So, at the age of 56 I can still be effected by this SHIT and brought to tears- UNTIL I remember - NEVER AGAIN - will I give that person the satisfaction of ever treating me like SHIT again.  
Yes, I will continue - so every Monday is a reminder to me & hopefully to others..

I know my mother was seriously struggling with depression & was an alcholic, that does not make it an excuse to abuse your child.  Are you depressed? Is you child suffering because  it?  GET help. 
Are you a family member who sees a child being neglected?   WTF?    HELP MORE!
Are you an adult now, still haunted by your childhood memories?  
Acknowledge, understand - IT WAS NEVER YOU!  Breath and go create!
You are a child of GOD- still here for a reason! Go create - Be joyful - that is the best success  & way to thank God.  I'm glad I was such a creative tiny being who was able to amuse myself painting with shit.. lol 
NOW, I paint to forget shit.. once I start painting  - all disappears, Thank GOD.
People alwasy comment on the amount I paint..  I paint to keep painfree - in more ways than anyone might imagine.  I focus on what & whom I love NOW, those who don't love me - can focus on what ever the fuck they want - who needs people like that in their lives?
NOT ME.  
Next week - playing HOOKEY!  Day's I got to stay home...... yippie.

Aren't you all glad I can NOW afford paint!?   hahaha  
Fuck that past shit!
I'm going to not give a shit while I smoke some really good shit  (thanks Son!)
& contemplate what kinda shit I'll get into, next.

;)

I NEVER, ever let my son sit in a dirty diaper. Not once.  
I gave him paint while he was still in diapers. I loved him with every breath, still do.
He liked to play in the dirt more... clearly with Love his passion GREW!  hee hee
& yesterday I painted 'a gardeners prayer- inspired by proverbs & the bible...
I'll share tomorrow.


with TLC & THC
​Me.

*All images and content Copyright ©2021 Georgia Peschel and GeorgiaToons.com / All Rights Reserved
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