2021 the year of the OX.
​In like a big stubborn OX. 
It will be another year with covid lockdowns, masks and 'vaccine shaming' & job loses, increased suicide rate and opiate deaths will continue to raise. Moooooooooo

I'm excited for 2021 - a new year - the 'date' is just another,  not a day to get drunk- quite the opposite. Should start your new year fresh,  AWAKE and energized  or start it hung over and feeling sick & depressed  the choice IS yours. The new year can be seen as a reset', a clean slate. This way of thinking/imagining allows me to say "goodbye" to the past year and all it's bullshit (Ox in this case) & forgive  the past year and those in it  &  look forward to a new year  with new hope.   I'm looking forward to witnessing new creativity surrounding  working, entertaining and living. From what I'm reading rent will drop and more apartments will be available - affordable living in the city - go figure...  we are already in January  soon Spring will be here before know it and it will be time to plant a garden!

I noticed someone I've always liked, posting some 'vaccine shaming' - knocking those  & their intelligence not not wanting to get the vaccine.  It was a good lesson for me to 'see'...      I like this person - does he even realize he appears right now: to be a nasty, judgemental ass.
Frankly, it's quite the eye opener on a few levels.  Allowing anyone to put something in our body is the ultimate test of human rights - our government is stating it is NOT mandatory - but others will sure let you know what they think - DO they think?  I've researched the effects of medicine more than most due to having a child who was expected to take several medicines (& I did not agree then! THANK GOD) &  I have experienced serious allergic reactions to "medicine" in the past.   I don't care what anyone 'THINKS',  I will wait - up to 3 years and watch the numbers of cancer rates and birth defects before I vaccinate & with a changing  Covid- will the vaccine even work in 3 years- or will we be expected to have another and another..

For ANYONE who thinks - I'm being ignorant research Thalidomide babies, just one example there are countless examples and more recent - I am not making this up, just sharing our history so we don't repeat it.      Thalidomide babies. 

If you THINK this 'doesn't happen anymore' - the ignorance does not lie with ME..  
so, I am staying off line - off social media 'currently -  so I don't send this person a message telling him not to be such an asshole -  because i KNOW, he is behaving from FEAR.  I will not contribute to this fearful mindset and knocking others for what they choose to do with their OWN bodies.  & really - who cares what some stranger on social media thinks?   Some who sits on their phone and  'comments nasty remarks on others pages' all day - is the last opinion, I'm taking seriously.   We are NOT God, we are still very much capable of making medical errors... long term side effects - for medicine not tested long term  is an accident waiting to happen. I hope I am proven wrong... in 3 years.  
  
I am also done  justify my actions to anyone... ever.
The Lord knows my intentions - I'm Good.
Fearful -not me.  Faith FULL.   
By the grace of God.
I'm excited for 2021...  in like an OX  Strong, stubborn & powerful.

Recently, I re-read Brave New World, anyone ready for a cup of Soma?  I was reminded about a movie I watched over 10 years ago -  I googled, I'd forgotten that it was to represent the future - 2022. I watched Soylent Green 10 years ago, I am sure I shrugged it off easier than today.  It's got me wondering about all these Science 'Fictions'.  
Don't shoot the messenger, ' I did not create this film forcast but I do have a message:
​                                         Start planning your Garden. NOW
​
Be it a balcony or backyard- it's your duty - just like in war time plan to plant a Victory Garden to help feed yourself & family & friends and others who are or will be struggling. 
Soylent Green is a movie once seen, you cannot unsee.. so perhaps pass.  Pass but don't be in denial, plan your garden & learn how to jar your goods.  Food shortage is a reality for too many and is growing due to the pandemic - it's complicated but understandable once you educate yourself on why, many reasons from actual lockdown to  not producing fast enough, pandemic purchasing and price increases, not being able to source ingredients as easily - it's what some might refer to as a  'Cluster Fuck'.  The awesomeness of the internet - NOW - you can learn so much from these humans who have already started the mindest a few years and teach others how to prepare.    

Do I think we'll be dining on Soylent Green anytime soon, 2022 - no.  Will food shortages happen & prices skyrocket - YES. Planning where to put the garden, no grass - all built up boxes for easy access, fenced in from critters - I don't need grass - nor do the dogs we have a forest to discover.  It's also fun to plan a garden in December.

Tonight is the Christmas Star! I'm excited to see it & paint something special for Christmas.
Today - finishing my 'Home Boy message centre painting'  (hee hee)  some positive loving affirmation going into 2021. Did you know some Canadians spell 'centre' and not center... We do.  Stay Healthy.
​

Happy Saturday!

    Yesterday was Norms birthday!  He worked on his shop - best birthday gift EVER .. lol
He’s 60 & he’s in great shape - it’s from all this hard farm work!  Birthing goats & chasing chickens has kept him fit as a fiddle… lol - more like building coops, barns. a shop, chopping down trees- yeah!  Norm won’t ever look at wood the same again. We were going to celebrate later in the evening with movie & I was making dinner but then… I had some sense knocked into me.   Literally.

I am forever telling Norm & HAVE even blogged about it - one reason many people fall in their homes is…. their dogs.  I have 5 who love me and follow me  everywhere, as you know.  I was painting in my studio, standing.. music - deep in deer snow- and I turned to get paint - turned back and Arrow was at my feet and down I went.   I protect my hands because I know they’ll break so I did not use them, instead I used my head to stop my fall - it bounced off the metal track - between my studio & house.  
I could not google  'concussion symptoms'...   it hurt that bad.
Serious dog training happening - RED tape lines they CANNOT cross - like the kitchen.
I’ll also add my girls freaked out,  they knew I was not joking and were all trying to help me up… Norm arrived a few moments later. 

Not much else happened last night, quiet, bed and today OUCH.  No concussion symptoms, Thank God. Yes, I think I actually  needed to have sense knocked into me - on a few issues- I was hurt enough to wonder if I was gonna die - for a few seconds.  I called Storm to tell him I love him.  Went to bed in pain and did not sleep…  I did talk to Jesus & have had quite a bit of clarification..   a nice calm has consumed me.   ;)  Actually grateful for the fright.

 Although sore to touch, even raise my eyebrows- I am absolutely clearer headed on several issues, humans and STRONGER than I was yesterday. AMEN.
I woke today and thanked God for it & said "o.k.! Let's prove it Jesus!"  lol    Wait & see.

I painted this deer for this stranger  “Ted” I met once  at the feed store in Halliburton (Phil is a great guy & very helpful  if you need seed/feed/animal stuff) I gave Ted my number because he said it was nice to have someone enjoy his photos.   This past year he has shared many beautiful photos of deer, flowers, butterflies, pine weasels, turkeys, amazing chickadees  and always a kind word or take care… thats’ it.  
I realized.. this stranger has absolutely been a positive light in 2020, and I wanted to say Thank you.  I’m pleased how it turned out,  inspired by a photo he sent,  playing with light & snow.

I realized we (me included) rarely ponder some people who are kind & thoughtful yet become ‘thought obsessed’  dwelling on others - who don’t even have the kindness in them to stop & say "hello" or even offer a smile - let alone kind word... 
Worse, we waste our thoughts & precious time on intentionally nasty people - robbing ourselves of  time & joy we could be thinking of the kind people we do have around us. Focus on Love, light Kindness…  I shall.
Let the Universe...    God, focus on the rest.

My head/mind needed the  alignment.
I needed to go & spend time with Jesus in prayer, thought, love.  

Excited to start the next painting!
​G

I've noticed a trend on television.  Even while watching the Grinch on netflix (newest version) the topic of childhood trauma- explaining why he grew up being a Grumpy Grinch. 
Nurse Ratchet- 'nailed' childhood abuse so well - I can't watch it without feeling TOO emotional,  that show triggeres negative emotions in me - I know better than to watch, even though I did find it entertaining.

I can't watch anything with drunks - it puts me in a bad MOOD.  The thing with depression is you feel depressed already - then there are many outside factors that can also add to not feeling well, other humans, shows we watch, songs we hear..  even smells can trigger negative emotions in people who have been abused.  Alcohol abuse & domestic abuse are excalated right now, my heart breaks when I think of all the little kids that can NOT escape the abuse in their own home.  Locked in with abusers.   As we watch in all these movies -  some grow up to be Grumpy Grinches in many cases, even worse -some go on to repeat and escalate violence on their own children.    FUELED by alcohol. 
A few weeks ago I read in the Globe & Mail - one mom wrote how after 7 months with her newborn she got drunk & the next day was the first time she resented her baby,  because she was SICK and HUNGOVER.  That's how easy it becomes.  She vowed then not to drink again and take it out on her child. WOW.  If only this awakening would come to all mothers... & fathers.

My problem is often a simple 'visual reminder', to this day I cannot look at a mail slot in a door. It brings back memories of the time my mom slid my cheeseburger through the mail slot ( I was little, under 7)  & STILL can see what I saw when I peeked out the mail slot as my mother and her boyfriend laughed and ran off...  leaving me alone to eat my lunch.  
I still remember the feeling/thinking  is this a game?
I'd like to play too!
Only now, realizing it as an adult  makes me feel anger. Some days 'Livid'.
The dog ate my cheeseburger.  She soon got rid of the dog.
I was physically, verbally & mentally abused  but it's that mailslot that hurts the most, still.  That was just cruel, I can't imagine ever doing that to a child... ever.
I still don't understand it & never will - trust me - I've tried.  
Forget it- I fucking wish I could, I've had family, friend, Dr.s,  teachers, priests, nuns lol all suggest I just move past it. Tell my mind not to think these things when I see a mail box.  Our mind reminds us for a reason...  for protection.

Do you know, who does not understand why I can't forget about this:
EVERYONE.. everyone who's never been fed a cheese burger by thier drunk mother through a mail slot.  Give thanks if you don't have such memories.

Childhood trauma- are you drinking more than usual?
​Are you getting drunk and it's hurting your children?  
Let me remind you:  They grow up... they do not forget - even though they try. 
Childhood trauma - they can't forget.  
Please do not drink Alcohol if you are struggling with it & causing your children pain.

What to paint - I was going to paint a mail slot but it's too depressing - lol
so here's another puppet.. for all my Buds. Have fun... I did.

​G

I'd like to start this mental health week on a positive note with a positive suggestion:
Go into this winter (lockdown) with the mind of a caterpillar & in the spring prepare to emerg & transfigure into 2021  stronger, healthier & wiser. Why not!?
How can anyone not be wiser after all this.  I'd like to share a couple suggestions of what I KNOW works for me - it can't hurt.. yes, I've had experience with depression before a pandemic - 202o was one of our happiest years. So here goes, a few pointers to prevent depression spiraling out of control.

-Have Faith.  I can't express it enough... To have faith is everything - to have Faith is to have faith in me.  Have Faith we will continue through this.

-If you are struggling with thoughts of giving up, be brave and ask to speak to someone.
I had/have 2 Dr.s  who speak & listen... explain.  God  sent my Dr.s, I know it now.  
"I promise you Georgia, it will get better... soon you will meet someone & have your own family.."   said my Dr. sitting in his office (after hours) as he stitched me up for  'cutting', a little too deep 'that time' & I was too embarrassed to go to the hospital.  I cut my arms , thighs, abdomen with a razore blade for years... my mother never seemed to notice,  I found out later, she informed others I did it because "I was fucked up"... I sure was.  I cut because I did NOT know how to deal with the depression, I cut to hurt myself because I felt I was not wanted. I cut because I was the only one I could control.  I cut becuase it felt better to hurt myself than others. I am reminded by scars physical & mental.  
Find someone to talk to - if you can't find someone - there's ALWAYS Jesus.  

-Do not drink alcohol. So much abuse could be avoided without alcohol.  All you have to do is 'pass on the alcohol.  Because, I was raised in a 'alcohol home there are times during this pandemic - I've condiered getting drunk to forget it all, if only for a few hours. Yikes.  Not a good time to get drunk and wallow - it's easy to be swallowed by depression with all currently happening. Don't do it.. it only dulls the feelings, nothing goes away.
​After excessive alcohol, problems are usually worse as well as feeling hung over.  
I treat myself to LUCs brew in a wine glass- LOVE the blueberry Basil,  not only is it tasty, refreshing- it's good for me. Alcohol Free.   It's your choice.

Read. Craft.. learn to speak a new language...  I learned to speak Goat - just as Nugget.
Why not- NOW is the time to dream & transform - ready to spread our wings & FLY when...  we can.

With THC & TLC
​Georgia
  

All Inmates are sitting ducks.
Do you know anyone in jail?  I do, several.
I know someone who is in jail for murder and a few in for stupidity, right now - they are all on death row with Covid -19.  "We are Out of sight & out of mind..."  my brother educated me  - who has time to think about people in jail when we are dealing with life let alone a pandemic ( & more). 

PLEASE remember & I stress this because I forget -  it's not only terrible humans, in jail where they belong, there are others that 'fucked up'.  We all do  at some point  but we all don't get caught.  Perhaps something like fraud, theft, not pying bills.. impaired (I am NOT justifying any crime)  ...who knows - JUST not people that physically hurt others are now isolated, locked up & just like all  us, concerned about covid... with not even a window to crack  open  in facilaties with circulated air and poor hygene.   Not good.

Apparently inmates are being kept seperate when first entering cell blocks.. how seperate can that be.  There are old guys in there, not well in poor health...  
I don't know... are they safer? They at least have meals daily and a roof over their heads.  Court dates pushed back  (why are they not ZOOMing court) yet every day in jail -during covid - makes up for a shorter sentence. I think one day in jail with covid will be considered 2.5.. something like that.   - Do you know why, I don't remember exactly?
I'm not locked in a cell during a pandemic.   Inmates  are counting the minutes, not days or months.   WE are free - still you and me, don't forget it.
Give thanks.  Stay out of trouble.

Perhaps  you could think of someone in jail and reach out and say  'hello'.
Send a funny card- I dont think they can get cards.. but you can write letters!
I've actually had terrific luck with what I send - it seems to get through & I thank God.  
I like to hear I make others smile, in particular those who might need to smile, most. 

Out of sight out of mind is sometimes a good thing - others times, not so much. 
Inmates are just like us, feeling at times (more than most of us) sad, loney and frightened.
No one wants to be a sitting duck.

I was up before Gloria! Painting cocks - Cockadoodledoooooo  & they turned out terrific these cockhouses will fly, I hope!  ALL proceeds to local charaties in Haliburton & Minden & surrounding areas.      -Do what you can do - cockadoodle dooo!

With THC & TLC
Me 

Never say never.. maybe you don't someone in jail,  I use to think like that.. then I've witnessed several go to jail this lifetime.  It's sad - always sad,  even the ones 'I think' belong. 

   Had someone told me 5 years ago : in 5 years the military will be deployed in Canada to vaccinate everyone & there’s talks of possibly microchipping people -  I would have said -
   Oh fuck off, you conspiracy theorist. Wait.. have I not read about this in some science fiction maybe 10 - 20 years ago?  Or was that more of prediction fiction.  We need to go back and reinstate some of our best novels.


  Did you know  the term ‘conspiracy theory’ was designed propaganda by the CIA to dismiss, deflect, and HIDE.  Research it.   How many ‘conspiracy theories’  of the past have come to fruition?  Think about it…  Why is so hard for people to understand above all else this vaccine business  is a BUSINESS.
The speed in which this vaccine has been created is concerning- if not, then you are not aware of how long it takes to test medications properly - in order to understand what LONG TERM side effects there MIGHT be.

I fucking hate to hear of anyone  (especially anyone I care about) on antidepressants… and I know of a few who have started prescriptions  during this pandemic.
These are depressing times… let’s learn to accept and deal with that instead of  ‘pill up’ - no doubts thousands have started antidepressants the past few months.  Research them.. 
I DO believe antidepressants actually increase suicidal feelings  & I do say this with way too much personal experience.   at least 30 years of experience on antidepressants.  I often wonder IF they are in fact what has caused my TN - a living nightmare.   Look into ‘the marketing of madness’ - I was grateful for the education over a decade ago.   
I’d rather learn to live with depression than put anymore poison into my body.

Now,  we are expected to believe this  vaccine will be the new ‘gonna fix it all’…   Understand- I am NOT - ANTI vaccination - I am cautious about a vaccine PUSHED on us before we actually KNOW what IT will do to our bodies. THIS IS the ultimate test here- mandatory vaccine - FUCK NO - that is against humans rights. 
NO one should be permitted to put anything in anyones body if they do not wish.  EVER.  Pay attention - think about this please… it is a VERY big deal.

No,  I will not the the first in line, if it means I have some restrictions and to remain  social distancing for a while longer - so be it. Until ‘I’ feel safe, am educated and aware- of possible side effects - I’ll take my chances and THAT should absolutely BE each individuals choice.
This is an incredibly slippery slope we are ALL on.  Pandemic or None.
Don’t fool yourself  a few (limited few) will become very rich on the vaccine - business is business.   Not everyone is as concerned about the side effects as they are a side bank account.
This BULLSHIT with BIG stores being able to remain OPEN is exactly that - BULLSHIT.
The rich getting richer  while all the small stores go under - it is NOT fair or right.
& remember a few years ago when the talk of ‘micro chipping people’ was considered a conspiracy theory - Look into what Dr. Tam thinks about microchipping, not to mention she works for WHO?  is that not a conflict of interest? I don’t know.
& THAT IS MY POINT…


We don’t know.

​with THC & TLC,  me.

A Smoking hot Cock.  Formerly known as Foghorn.
It is with a heavy heart I share our first fatality on the farm and of course I was literaly painting him - when it happened.  Gloria (my big black rooster whom I thought was a hen) is a asshole.. he kept beating up Foghorn and we were literally making up a FREE ROOSTER sign to get rid of him & just keep Foghorn.   Gloria beat up Foghorn several times to the point he jumped out of the pen - several times.  Clearly they can get out - if they choose.

I heard the commotion  (as did the dogs)  I looked out the window to see Gloria again brutally beating on Foghorn - the dogs heard it too... Foghorn was flying around the pen but Gloria was relentless and 3 times his size... she grew fast the past couple of months.
I thought he was hiding under the coop,   he was hiding under the back deck.. the dogs found him and Norm found the dogs.
 
The dogs although they have never attacked a chicken in the coop - thought Foghorn was fair game running loose, I guess. They will more training around the chickens, in some dogs I do believe it's instinct, they do their job by protecting the Farm & that's most important. 

Sad yes, very much but at the same time I was warned, several girlfriends shared - shit happens, especially to chickens... cats, dogs, hawks - other chickens, stuff falls on them, they get get caught in places and can't get out, it's all part of farm life and life.  
I decided I'd continue the painting and work through it,  not an easy task - tears & gouache don't go good together.   I felt bad for Norm, he was closer to Foghorn.

I would advise against getting roosters.
You don't need them for eggs - Yes, if you want to  eggs to become chickens.
Crow at sunrise - HA! That is only in the movies as I NOW know - lol, this mother clucker crows when ever he wants to!  Still, I'll take the noise of a Rooster than TRAFFIC or Urban noise any day. Good Bye Foghorn.  

With TLC & THC 
​Georgia

Hairless kitties fuck with your mind.  As I painted this kitty - I kept (naturally) wanting to brush fur or 'a' whisker even.. I had to focus and remember this is a genetic hairless kitty and was not easy to paint.  The wrinkles adorable tho.  I guess this is what cats look like without fur.

Mental Health Monday - Many will be feeling EVEN more stressed today with the current information: The Military will be deployed to vaccinate us all. 
The military will be administering the vaccine...   sounds a little 'Handmaidenish' don't you think?  Ironically, I did have a friend tell me this months ago.. I brushed it off with little thought, not now.  Is anyone else slightly concerned? Will it  be mandatory - that would cause a bit of chaos imo - no.. it won't be mandatory but good luck traveling, shopping or if you have to go to the hospital - you'll get it or you won't be able to play'.  

Here we go... I don't even know what to think today.. editorials are spilling out my ears.

About the 'vaccine'... about side effects.  Are we playing with covid cures?  Swatting at things in the air- it appears so.. a government who can't seems to get on the same page with rules and regulations are leading me to believe  they have in fact- known this was the direction INDEED that this was all GOING to go.
  Not being an essential worker, I  have the luxury of time & reading & I'll tell you there is very conflicting, interesting information circluating right now... worlddoctorsalliance.com some very intelligent people are speaking up about the current situation and motive behind it-  have a read.. THINK for yourself- what do you think? 

I've had several reactions over my life time with medication - once almost killed me - luckily I was in the hospital when it happened., my friend Kat happened to be visiting me and noticed I started slurring & my tongue  (should be spelled TUNG)  started to swell and I started to pass out - the nurses came running  with a shot' to counter act  the previous medication and here I sit. 

Another occasion the medication I was given made me feel like ripping my skin off,  itchy - from the inside out - I was off it in 2 days.  I often vomit when taking  pills -they don't sit well in my stomach & opitaes really mess me up leaving me  feel lathargic, uncoordinated, sick and constipated - nope, LET FOOD BE they medicine & even that is natural, my medicine.  NO - I don't want to be first in line for this vaccine. 
​Side effects.. can linger and not show for years.
Will the cure - be the cure or  a future curse?  
Try not to stress about this.. read & become more educated and better prepared.
​
 Hairless kittys are not for me but it was pleasurable to paint!

​With TLC & THC
Georgia
​