I'm not overly pleased with it but it was interesting using new irredescent copper paint.
Who's tired? Me.
I slept all day the other day- with short intervals to see the goats & chickens.
I'm praying this passes quickly.
WE watched the doc Cracked Up: The Darrell Hammond story.
It was difficult for me to watch. I had a 'light bulb' moment- not a good one.
Too many times he said something and I found myself wanting to smash the T.V.
If you want know how 'I feel' - watch it, it is exactly how I feel, some - if not many days.
Too many days. He also explains about triggers' - nice to know I'm not alone.
I have too many triggers. I guess it's because I have too many memories.
How do we get past it - do we ever get past it?
Clearly some people will hate us for no reason in this lifetime - because THEY are fucked up.. so, fuck them. He said at the end..I won.
I feel - I won, surrounded by my furry family, here where God has placed me- thankfully.
I think it's been the best year - for my mental health & physical health... if only I didn't have triggers- perhaps they are here to HELP us- to remind us. Teach us.
All I did was be born. The neglect & hatred was beaten into me.
Have I won? When I can still be brought to tears by a fucking trigger?
There are no winners in child abuse.
I am tired.
I think he was lucky that he had a father, grand parents & a sibling around.