I'm big on recycling - when I designed this I kept in mind the dates could be removed after expired and the images would make a really cute framed set. I'll show you when I have mine up!
For the first calendar I tried to find what I thought are some of the strangest mushrooms and colorful - they come in pink, purple & green- no wonder they all are in Alices Wonderland. Each original is 9x5 (same size as printed version) and each takes me at least a day from research to finish. With every painting I become more educated.. on mushrooms anyhow.
I've mentioned I am using psilocybin for my brain pain... to be honest - I don't think I'm taking it as much as I should. I've come to the conclusion - painting is mediation.. as long as I can accomplish it - I'm fairly good- it's amazing what you learn to live through & with - its more important to medicate and then just go rest some days.
Yesterday was a 'right off'... as you might have imagined, frustrated with the argument from the night before, not much got done besides napping and a few sketches, a day of being grumpy and crying. Yep I did. Today is a new day and I'm expecting company - an artist friend - already excited - ready to paint I'm anxious for her creative arrival. Yesterday is done.
Do you know what I did not do yesterday to get me through... I did not take an antidepressant. Cannabis is an antidepressant, so I guess I sort of did- it helped me think things out or rather 'forget about it. We all have bad days- days we feel overwhelmed, frustrated, tearful, hopeless even BUT not everyone needs to take pills to help them past this- Its just life! I feel better for having a terrible day - thought it out- cried it out - and LET that SHIT go. Done.
Norm is feeling humbled I can tell by how he is behaving NOW - he did it to himself, he knows when he is being an asshole... why do we behave as we do? We just do. As I sit here my twitch is so strong this morning I'm having difficulty not pulling to the side.. and I will medicate for pain (not done yet - silly me) It's going to be a difficult day - physically, mentally I'm already happy so 1/2 the battle is won.
This is what mushrooms do for me:
I understand, they help me understand - it's just a light bulb- it has nothing to do with the lightbulb.. Norm has his own issues to deal with - make it clear he can't use to me "sort' them out but understand he's trying to sort it out... when he is behaving like he does - walk away- I have other things more enjoyable to think about, if someone wants to be miserable- they can do it alone- they probably need some alone time. Until we can go our separate ways - it' would be nice if we did not destroy the "friendship" we have remaining over f*cking lightbulbs. ;)
Bong hit time! - OH my Gosh.. have you seen what Jerry Kelly is Up to?
I was also mindful & grateful that Norm does not do what many spouses do and turn to the bottle after I tell him to 'Go F*ck himself... which only ends up uglier.
I would not live with an alcoholic at all - he is very aware of that fact.
Storm and I were talking about the Hockey team and how incredibly heartwarming they have received I believe over $4 million in donations- maybe $6 I can't recall- and it will be needed to pay for all the funerals, to help all the families, the boys still alive will need help - it makes me proud as a Canadian to see how we all come together for each other. Hockey sticks out not the porch.
We also discussed the other bus crash with all the children - 23 I think- who died only days later in a bus crash in India. Do you think they will have $6 million raised?
$4 million raised to help them with the funerals - the pain.
Do you think they might get 2 million? How about 1? ;(
What is different?
Boys on a bus going to a hockey game - kids on a bus going to school.
We all know the answer to this question I believe.
I said to Storm... Life is life, it's where we are born.. life is life.
Now we know, now we get to see life all over the world, learn about life all over the world. See how we respond to life around the world.
May they ALL rest in peace and the families have their suffering eased eventually and hopefully healed.
Time for me to get creative & enjoy & embrace the day!!!
With TLC & THC