She's so confident, chilled .. just being who she is meant to Be - just the QUEEN..
Being in the moment. Right here & NOW. She is who I aspire to BE.
Queen of Calm - lol! Can I do it? I'm trying. I try.
Did I tell you I'm quick tempered? Can you guess? So all this BEE here NOW is needed.. we all need reminders and no' it is NO excuse- but this constant zapping does not help it's like a spark plug to the 10 second meltdowns.. the good thing with my yelling (always find the bright side) is with time it does seem to be quicker, blunter.. if it's worth yelling over I must be pretty upset & I don't back down easily, these are learned traits. I've never claimed to be perfect in anyones mind but Gods... and I wish I got better at ignoring stuff.
Don't we all.
Someone pointed out on PIN of all places.. it looks like someone is coping my art... or rather my ideas & was told someone saw prints recently of one of my designs but apparently it was poor quality and a poor attempt at selling so I just let it go.. & in the heat of the moment I even asked another artist if she "copied much?"
-Because we have an image very similar. Sigh..
What the f*ck takes over me? I can tell you.. EGO.
It sneaks in from time to time (luckily in some ways) and says "that's the greatest idea ever!!" ... "No one can even come close to such a creative idea!! & it will make you an internet sensation!" (which makes me laugh because I constantly can't decide on privacy settings so my account doesn't grow too fast, as with FB... It's not easy (for me) when you go from a few hundred to a few thousand (with it comes more - messages, more comment control, more replies, more & more and less time painting. Sometimes - I'll go online and see not only 'My amazing ORIGINAL idea' but one that is the same and a touch - better in some cases - and then something takes over (gratefully) and I ask:
Who am I - when I get like this?
When I realized only moments later I was out of line and just grumpy from being mentally exhausted first thing in the morning - I apologized - I never said I was perfect... she's a talented artist- and I bet she probably 'get's it', it seems par for the course if your show your work on line. I apologized for my momentary mind ego takeover. Ironically, I don't even know if she saw it - hahaha IG has a thing where you images disappear- I'm not sure how to turn this feature off. Then I apologized to myself.
Have you forgiven yourself lately? It felt kinda nice.. ;)
Ease up, you lived through it yesterday, the day before & You can continue tomorrow but right NOW- Go paint.. release, relax, breath & BE. Become a Queen at Calm.
This is more important that any 'art' I can produce for the universe. ;)
With TLC & THC