I've come to a realization the past week which has me bow my head.. in prayer.
A year ago.. a year ago I had a few events happen that changed my life and I never shared with anyone, well- that is not completely true, there are a couple of people who know.. Storm of course is one person - I shared (matter of fact) 'I'm going to take a trip, go on an adventure (a year ago) God let me know.
I'd rather not share when or how.. it's personal.
I was impatient and thought 'I was going right away..' turns out it took year. Not long at all really - but it can feel like an eternity. Then I thought I'd be going someplace else.. invited by someone else. What trickery God.. you keep me on my toes.
I did know I was going to see cactus! They have cactus in California - I'm sure.
Who am I? To think I have any control over any thing?
I do have control of my choices' God puts before me & promised a year ago- if you put it before me I will go. I will take the LEAP of faith.
This past few years in particular have been a personal struggle like no other, failed surgery, marital changes, relationship changes in general and acceptance life is 'different as am I, not worse - different. The past year I was forced to think about things I've not thought about & a few people I need to think about differently for my own PEACE of mind & health.
When emotions I forgot existed - surfaced - I became confused.
I still am.
What do you do when you believe God does have a plan? A specific person in mind?
When your constantly reminded of others, drawn to them - pushed at them.
Nothing. There is nothing I can do anymore.
My feelings are clear.
I am proud of that most lately, I am not afraid to the let others I love/like know it.
Sometimes I'm humiliated when I realize: Perhaps- others don't feel as we do. lol Perhaps?
This is where I struggle with God, 'then why bring them into my life like you did?'
Not everyone loves us. Will I stop loving them.. never.
I love people now who I don't feel love me too much. It's o.k.
What matters is what I am putting out into the world. Love & good wishes.
God loves me (Whew) & will continue to bless me with those who will... it might take 'about a year. lol
There is nothing you can do other than let those we love know it.
The rest is up to them.
Will people respond to love or will they ignore?
Will it be a choice they forget or regret?
I don't know anymore.. I don't want any regrets.
I'm going to listen to God.
I'll try when God introduces me to others to Give thanks for everyone and show them love.
Does God put people in your life for you? Or them?
I am reminded of a quote, how every day nothing seems to change but when we look back- everything has changed.
New bears on my desk- it's going to be a great day.
P.S. Since I'm BEARing all.. Cactus & Caves!! I was promised.
I don't think the caves are here.. I think I was thinking too small..
God is going to show me the caves in Paris!! Wait & see.
I have no doubts!!!