Nurse Ratchet- 'nailed' childhood abuse so well - I can't watch it without feeling TOO emotional, that show triggeres negative emotions in me - I know better than to watch, even though I did find it entertaining.
I can't watch anything with drunks - it puts me in a bad MOOD. The thing with depression is you feel depressed already - then there are many outside factors that can also add to not feeling well, other humans, shows we watch, songs we hear.. even smells can trigger negative emotions in people who have been abused. Alcohol abuse & domestic abuse are excalated right now, my heart breaks when I think of all the little kids that can NOT escape the abuse in their own home. Locked in with abusers. As we watch in all these movies - some grow up to be Grumpy Grinches in many cases, even worse -some go on to repeat and escalate violence on their own children. FUELED by alcohol.
A few weeks ago I read in the Globe & Mail - one mom wrote how after 7 months with her newborn she got drunk & the next day was the first time she resented her baby, because she was SICK and HUNGOVER. That's how easy it becomes. She vowed then not to drink again and take it out on her child. WOW. If only this awakening would come to all mothers... & fathers.
My problem is often a simple 'visual reminder', to this day I cannot look at a mail slot in a door. It brings back memories of the time my mom slid my cheeseburger through the mail slot ( I was little, under 7) & STILL can see what I saw when I peeked out the mail slot as my mother and her boyfriend laughed and ran off... leaving me alone to eat my lunch.
I still remember the feeling/thinking is this a game?
I'd like to play too!
Only now, realizing it as an adult makes me feel anger. Some days 'Livid'.
The dog ate my cheeseburger. She soon got rid of the dog.
I was physically, verbally & mentally abused but it's that mailslot that hurts the most, still. That was just cruel, I can't imagine ever doing that to a child... ever.
I still don't understand it & never will - trust me - I've tried.
Forget it- I fucking wish I could, I've had family, friend, Dr.s, teachers, priests, nuns lol all suggest I just move past it. Tell my mind not to think these things when I see a mail box. Our mind reminds us for a reason... for protection.
Do you know, who does not understand why I can't forget about this:
EVERYONE.. everyone who's never been fed a cheese burger by thier drunk mother through a mail slot. Give thanks if you don't have such memories.
Childhood trauma- are you drinking more than usual?
Are you getting drunk and it's hurting your children?
Let me remind you: They grow up... they do not forget - even though they try.
Childhood trauma - they can't forget.
Please do not drink Alcohol if you are struggling with it & causing your children pain.
What to paint - I was going to paint a mail slot but it's too depressing - lol
so here's another puppet.. for all my Buds. Have fun... I did.