My last Dr.s visit I was told: I can't help you anymore.
Brain surgery, radiation, botox injections, opiates... not guaranteed to work- any of it.
"Life has no Guarantees.."
"no, but it's my life and with no guarantees, I'm the one going through it all, and it's NO piece of cake. I still do not feel 'right' since the last, can you guarantee it won't make me worse?"
The rest is not important... stuff I will deal with & rise above.
The main thing I deal with DAILY is being zapped - countless times- GO AHEAD even try to judge me... Until you live this life OR anyones life first hand- think what you want but you can not KNOW unless you live it. Having 'others struggle' with it - has become a JOKE! What a life lesson, I AM surrounded by cowards.
People who pretend to care but show you the opposite with their constant repeated actions. Simple.
All it has done is put everyone on the same level, this is a good thing.
Powerful really. Is there anyone out there who could make me feel differently- I doubt it.
I came home and was only able to draw the silly coconut card', I was giddy - ?
It took bear a couple of days to emerge. Expectantly. Lots of painting, thinking... How does one live like this? Anger, frustration - it has me questioning EVERYthing and everyone.
Regrettably or reassuringly, it seems again to again pushed me to a new plateau where I care less about others and their excuses and uneducated opinions & lies.
I can't walk without THIS F*cking thing triggering- I can't eat, smile or have a normal conversation - SO F*CK OFF!!! You who are having a bad hair day, or a few wrinkles, sagging boobs, 20 pounds too many, bad mood.. - please... - boo hoo hooey.
I had one female FRIEND (?) recently send me an e mail
"Tomorrow- I'll come get you and well go out! " Yippie!!
I got up, showered, dressed up - looking good, excited and waited - she never showed or called.. not even a day later- when I contacted her, her response - "oh, I was having a bad day" that was it. Done. Over. F*ck off ... you, I do NOT need friends like this in my life, it does not make it richer - lol. Surround yourself with those who raise you up.
I get up everyday paint, read, research and try to make a difference.
Do I stay in bed and cry? NO - Even though I have a good reason most days.
& STILL I am living my life for others. Staying where I do not want to BE anymore.
Dogs can figure it out and show more love than most humans.
Living my life for others, what other expect of me- those days are DONE.
Today - I will start BEARS ADVENTURE! I'm not WAITING for ANYONE!
A friend has invited me to see GEORGIA at the AGO ! YES!
The exhibition opened today, we will go in a couple of weeks.
I have never seen a real Georgia painting and I am SO EXCITED!
I might have to go alone too- just so I can sit and stare for a few hours. lol
I might try to go this night also: www.ago.net/my-faraway-one
“It takes courage to be a painter. I always felt I walked on the edge of a knife.”
` GEORGIA O'KEEFFE
Amen, I could have said it better Georgia.
This Bear is dedicated to all who HUNT FOR SPORT... humans and animals.
Bears killed for fun? I don't understand it.
To hunt to kill a helpless animal - NOT because you are starving makes you the inferior animal. COWARDs with s scope.
Human who hunt for sport 'other humans' either to feed their EGO or libido are no better, cowards with a scope - usually called the internet.
next.. more #cannabisofcourse