56 year.. I've been here. Time flies when your having fun.. it flies when your not having fun too, so you may as well make the most of it. That is exactly how yesterday went. I had plans -bright and early- my truck would not start (what else is new) plans changed. Instead I let the universe decide my day...It was lovely. It ended up being a day to linger, paint, snuggle, feed the birds & eat a homemade apple, blueberry pie.
It is a day to celebrate.
My actual birth date was not celebrated, not only was it not celebrated I was told for years (decades) how I was a "mistake" and my mother wished I had not been born. I was actually told (many times) she wished - I was dead. So many times, I got very use to hearing it.
My mother has had her wish granted, I am no longer a part of her life.
Birthdays have always been difficult for this reason... hard to 'celebrate' something you've been told was a big mistake... Fuck that.
The only 'mistakes' made - were by others choices...
God makes no mistakes.
NOW, I understand I am a child of God who has always been loved. I deserve to be loved and to love. I feel it now, from others.
I've learned in 56 years: Love is thicker than blood.
& that's all anyone need to remember - surround yourself with people who actually care & want to see you do well, there are many!
God makes sure of it.
It's the first birthday in a long time I showed myself love from the moment I woke to the moment we went to bed - a day of being good to me, happy even. I'm glad my truck did not start- I stayed home and did what I enjoy MOST - surrounded by love.
I love me... it took a very long time... but I do.
Poppy loves me too. hee hee
I look forward to more celebrations!
Wait until you see my new kitties- each one turns out better than the one before!
& they have a twist.. & a message - of love.
The first - next - after I figure out how to hang it.
It is a day to celebrate.
My actual birth date was not celebrated, not only was it not celebrated I was told for years (decades) how I was a "mistake" and my mother wished I had not been born. I was actually told (many times) she wished - I was dead. So many times, I got very use to hearing it.
My mother has had her wish granted, I am no longer a part of her life.
Birthdays have always been difficult for this reason... hard to 'celebrate' something you've been told was a big mistake... Fuck that.
The only 'mistakes' made - were by others choices...
God makes no mistakes.
NOW, I understand I am a child of God who has always been loved. I deserve to be loved and to love. I feel it now, from others.
I've learned in 56 years: Love is thicker than blood.
& that's all anyone need to remember - surround yourself with people who actually care & want to see you do well, there are many!
God makes sure of it.
It's the first birthday in a long time I showed myself love from the moment I woke to the moment we went to bed - a day of being good to me, happy even. I'm glad my truck did not start- I stayed home and did what I enjoy MOST - surrounded by love.
I love me... it took a very long time... but I do.
Poppy loves me too. hee hee
I look forward to more celebrations!
Wait until you see my new kitties- each one turns out better than the one before!
& they have a twist.. & a message - of love.
The first - next - after I figure out how to hang it.
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