Bee. Gouache on white. This has been the only thing I was able to paint. I'm painting today.. amen.
I refuse to let this' get to me. What a lesson it's already been, the broken knee was not the lesson.
I went to see the surgeon & he suggests I will need a full knee replacement. I will not do anything unless I can function.
For some reason, even tho Norm was beside me when the first Dr. told me I broke my leg.. because I guess I didn't get a 'brace' (why I'm not sure..) Norm figured: it can't be that bad.. Seriously, he came to his own conclusions. Because I have a high pain tolerance I guess from living with TN all these years, I rarely cry.. this does NOT mean I am not in pain. I did cry a few short spurts on the long walk home - It was Jesus, adrenaline and gratitude that I was able to slowly inch home. Anyway.. I was not home 15 minutes from the first hospital visit and Norm dropped a basket of laundry at my feet to fold. I had to make a list (that was absolutely ignored) just to get the blinds open & the dogs given water.. I had to talk a 65 year old grown ass man through how to make dinner- because suddenly, he was not capable..
Day 2 with a broken knee - he came home and asked "What's for dinner?" I was in bed where I was told to stay by the REAL Dr., I said 'I'm sure you'll figure it out... he then went into the shop and never returned, until after I was in bed, hungry. And much more.. Lesson learned AGAIN.
Not until after then seeing the surgeon and Storm telling Norm what he said (again) did he seem to believe, I was indeed hurt. The damage has been done, physically & mentally. He did it before -after brain surgery and promised - till blue in the face.. he would never do it again and he did indeed. A lesson I am learning AGAIN, and truly - I can't stand the sight of him. Married 34 years (soon) and he can't cook me a fucking meal when I broke my leg - not because I'm lazy, I broke my fucking leg. NOT ONCE did he even say: Can I get you a drink? Something to eat?
No, he just got nastier as the week on, more resentful his meals not made & house not cleaned.
This is what the majority of men do.. when the women gets hurt they fuck off- selfish pricks that they can be.
Women on the other hand usually care for the men.. I hope married women and younger women are reading this... before you find out the hard way.
The disparity in domestic labor between genders, coupled with the statistics that men are more likely to leave, implies that men leave when their wives can no longer care for them and their home the way they’ve come to expect.
The implication leads to a terrifying conclusion about the state of marriage.
These husbands don’t seem to care about their wives as people. They only seem to care about what she can do to enhance his life. When she’s no longer able to provide him with the care and attention he feels entitled to, he leaves to find a replacement.
I asked Storm (anyone that KNOWS me KNOWS): IF your dad got hurt - would I make sure he was fed & cared for?
He replied 'Absolutely. And yes, I would have, WOULD being the key word. I am done, not only did he NOT HELP at all, he made no attempt to clean at all, even getting him to give the dogs water I was FORCED to argue with him. Storm had never seen the house so dirty (he was away the first week) He made the situation worse, I'm not even go into detail, why bother. LESSON learned, I am thankful I did NOT break my hip. Thank You Jesus.
Today is a new day, last night I opened my bible in tears and God gave me a DIRECT message.. this morning I opened a message on IG from my friend since grade 5- it was the exact - EXACT same message.
Lesson learned.. God will help me through it - I KNOW. I treated myself to a few online lessons with my favourite artist & there I will put my focus, on God & creating my own joy ... & God will raise me UP. As always... wait & see. Amen.
Thank GOD for my girls, whom I do talk to all the time!!!
I refuse to let this' get to me. What a lesson it's already been, the broken knee was not the lesson.
I went to see the surgeon & he suggests I will need a full knee replacement. I will not do anything unless I can function.
For some reason, even tho Norm was beside me when the first Dr. told me I broke my leg.. because I guess I didn't get a 'brace' (why I'm not sure..) Norm figured: it can't be that bad.. Seriously, he came to his own conclusions. Because I have a high pain tolerance I guess from living with TN all these years, I rarely cry.. this does NOT mean I am not in pain. I did cry a few short spurts on the long walk home - It was Jesus, adrenaline and gratitude that I was able to slowly inch home. Anyway.. I was not home 15 minutes from the first hospital visit and Norm dropped a basket of laundry at my feet to fold. I had to make a list (that was absolutely ignored) just to get the blinds open & the dogs given water.. I had to talk a 65 year old grown ass man through how to make dinner- because suddenly, he was not capable..
Day 2 with a broken knee - he came home and asked "What's for dinner?" I was in bed where I was told to stay by the REAL Dr., I said 'I'm sure you'll figure it out... he then went into the shop and never returned, until after I was in bed, hungry. And much more.. Lesson learned AGAIN.
Not until after then seeing the surgeon and Storm telling Norm what he said (again) did he seem to believe, I was indeed hurt. The damage has been done, physically & mentally. He did it before -after brain surgery and promised - till blue in the face.. he would never do it again and he did indeed. A lesson I am learning AGAIN, and truly - I can't stand the sight of him. Married 34 years (soon) and he can't cook me a fucking meal when I broke my leg - not because I'm lazy, I broke my fucking leg. NOT ONCE did he even say: Can I get you a drink? Something to eat?
No, he just got nastier as the week on, more resentful his meals not made & house not cleaned.
This is what the majority of men do.. when the women gets hurt they fuck off- selfish pricks that they can be.
Women on the other hand usually care for the men.. I hope married women and younger women are reading this... before you find out the hard way.
The disparity in domestic labor between genders, coupled with the statistics that men are more likely to leave, implies that men leave when their wives can no longer care for them and their home the way they’ve come to expect.
The implication leads to a terrifying conclusion about the state of marriage.
These husbands don’t seem to care about their wives as people. They only seem to care about what she can do to enhance his life. When she’s no longer able to provide him with the care and attention he feels entitled to, he leaves to find a replacement.
I asked Storm (anyone that KNOWS me KNOWS): IF your dad got hurt - would I make sure he was fed & cared for?
He replied 'Absolutely. And yes, I would have, WOULD being the key word. I am done, not only did he NOT HELP at all, he made no attempt to clean at all, even getting him to give the dogs water I was FORCED to argue with him. Storm had never seen the house so dirty (he was away the first week) He made the situation worse, I'm not even go into detail, why bother. LESSON learned, I am thankful I did NOT break my hip. Thank You Jesus.
Today is a new day, last night I opened my bible in tears and God gave me a DIRECT message.. this morning I opened a message on IG from my friend since grade 5- it was the exact - EXACT same message.
Lesson learned.. God will help me through it - I KNOW. I treated myself to a few online lessons with my favourite artist & there I will put my focus, on God & creating my own joy ... & God will raise me UP. As always... wait & see. Amen.
Thank GOD for my girls, whom I do talk to all the time!!!
