I had it in my mind to paint Lauren for years.
You have no idea of the anguish I feel that I waited.
Lauren would love her portrait.
Before I learned of her passing, just the week before I spoke to her mom & she was doing better, although still in the hospital. It looked good and hopefully she'd be going home soon...
I spent a few days gardening and crying. The hummingbirds appeared and at one point 'smacked me back to NOW as it flew by so close I ducked... I took it as a sign.
Lauren loved Zeeke, I learned how to draw a dachshund because of her. Many of her photos are like this, she covered 1/2 her face - like I do. Worried others will not like our appearance, as most of us do. We joked about it but it's no joke. Now I know- if someone is judging about my appearance - they are shallow beings & I am better off without.
We are so much more than this vessel called a body. To me, she was beauty.
I struggle with God's timing but yes, I am consoled my little bud is no longer suffering.
She had endured more surgeries than anyone I knew. She was the bravest young woman, who inspired me continuously. I am upset with myself & will have to forgive myself for not painting her portrait sooner. This was difficult.
Difficult as it's only natural to think about the person you paint.. I decided NOT to wait one more day. It ended up being quite healing process over the course of the week.. seeing 'her on the easel made it easier. Crying at first - smiling at the finished creation, KNOWING Lauren would LOVE IT! She was so special.. I will miss her dearly.
She loved her cannabis & used it since I believe the age of 15. & spoke UP about it all the time! There are leaves in the background of the painting. It's too bad she had to defend her use.. shallow is shallow. I (& others) will continue to speak up for her.
It is a gift for her family. I met her family at the expo & met Laurens mom a couple of times on other occasions. Laurens mom was a fantastic mother.
I can't even put it into words.. clearly God knew Lauren would need a rockstar mother like Debbie is. My heart feels heavy thinking about how much she is already missed.
It did help..
I am too late to gift it to Lauren, but it's NEVER to late to express my love for someone.
With TLC & THC - LOTS for me & Lauren!