Deep Breath, and in my mind I think help me speak.
I have not been drawing as much this past week or so, several reasons...
I had a bit of a set back. Dr.s still do not know what is causing my problem. I had a couple of days that were so bad I must say; I was considering- considering surgery - again LOL
Not fun ;-( I am also thinking of my botox Dr.
I also had a run in with arthritis and Daisy. I have Psoriatic arthritis - it moves. For what ever reason sometimes it moves to my hands. I can just about tolerate the pain anywhere else- when it moves to the hands it also becomes a mental stress and can be somewhat depressing to a artist to have hands so sore you don't want to draw. The weather is not helping. Arthritis is not fun. Some days it literally hurts to pull up my own undies. I have a friend with sever arthritis and has had it for years. I never knew how bad it was for her of course, until I started to deal with it. I do remember she was in so much pain one time when her little guy was a baby - I had to go over - she could not even do up his diaper because of the pain.
It has been a difficult week, I was close to calling my friend Marco and informing him I would not be at this years EXPO.
I had a long conversation with my guys - they get it - they see how I am and understand I am self conscious. Storm reminded me that - "people will think what they want, but when you speak mom they will hear you, and they get past your appearance." ❤
I had someone say to me - you have to get over it, then the other day she was saying in conversation "I would not go out if my hair was a mess... I would feel so self conscious" - HA! And I'm to GET over it!? - It will take time. That's just messy hair!
Either way, I was reminded that this is a opportunity for me to help educate and we have some fun. We booked the hotel. If people have trouble talking to me that is their problem not mine. Perhaps I am a lesson. We are all a lesson for someone.
For the past 2 days, I have been using 'Bubble hash' Storm got for me and my twitch last night was one of the best days it has been since surgery! I hope I figure out he camera thing - It will amaze some people! I will be in full twitch - have a puff and it stops, less than a minute later.
I am amazed! LOL - You have no idea. A twitch that goes on constantly - is exhausting alone but physically after a long day - it just WEARS me down. Last night -when it is usually at its worst in the P.M. - I could not believe how good it was!! I will be using nothing but for a couple of days. It would be so awesome if I could control it sometimes!
Norm could not believe I was not stoned. LOL And Storm happy to help his mom ❤.
If not for Cannabis, I do not know where I would be- yes, I do!
In bed miserable and feeling sorry for myself and in pain.
Instead today - is a new day and I am ready for it.
I am going to my painting room and paint some creations for this years EXPO.
Relax and enjoy this day, I know it is a blessing that it was given to me.
I hope to get back to drawing as of today. Thank you for your patience.. xox