Last Monday I guess I finally had the straw that broke this camels back.
I went for a test, one I had hoped and prayed would help Dr.s see what is finally going on in my head. It was not a pleasant experience to say the least. I left feeling defeated, degraded and ashamed at myself. I had questioned the test as I understood I was to have something different, I was told over and over I was wrong. I can tell you that for the first time in my life I truly felt like a piece of meat. Once home I called and confirmed I was to have a different test. Then I got a bit of 'Blah blah blah...' - and it did not make anything any better only worse. I then think I had a bit of a breakdown. I cried off and on for two days. I needed to get away.
I am blessed with a long time friend who when I asked if I could use his cottage, he offered me his home instead as no one is in it at the moment. I house sat.
I was nice to sit here too as he is a special friend - he has kept me sane these past years with paper alone!! He has supported my cartooning since day one. I could not have done it without him, well... perhaps, we find ways. His friendship for over 20+ years has always been a treasure. He knows it. LOL
To say I was 'roughing it' would be a lie. Central vac, hot tub... amazing privacy & deer!
A Sasquach!? Fire, snuggling with Poppy on my lap CD's ( o.k. - he does need to upgrade his variety!!! lol
Darkness and quite like I have not witnessed in a long time, talk about sooth the soul!
I think I made a new friend to boot! We shall see. Everything happens for a reason ;) .
I have taken photos, walked, explored a little but mostly, I have slept and drawn for 6 days and feel rested. With only Poppy for a companion we have had some fun! Today she lost a tooth. I have to admit both, too afraid to venture out after dark - she has been an awesome little pup in every way I can think of - oh well except for her obsession with the door stopper - Boooiiinnnggg, Booooiiinnnggg, Boiiinnngg!! LOL So happy she just discovered it and not when we arrived.
As much as I needed to get away, I need to return to my family -who is missing me and visa versa.
Blog and new TOONS!!! I am amazed at what I drew while away, I listened to what I thought I should draw about and I was never let down. It was not always about cannabis. It is always about humans. HIV, Future of Health Canada, A political statement that I know many of us all feel right now, a special toon with my son, and some Poppy - because - I still have a every day life...
I AM ready to continue.
Next Blog Sunday!
What Am I?
I am sick and tired of Health Canada and Steven Harper saying everyone they
provided licenses to are CRIMINALS.
WHY now? After providing thousands with permission to grow for years?
Because they REALIZE that YES indeed Cannabis will become a BILLION dollar industry and they can make $$$. LOT's of MONEY.
Who cares about the Health in Health Canada?
It is ONLY about money... for them.
For US it is about a life saving medicine that has changed our lives for the better!
ONE that WE were prescribed by a Dr. (not paid for) & granted permission from Health Canada to have a Designated Grower and provide Storm with his own medicine.
YES WE have invested MUCH. Blood , sweat & tears and $$$.
You would too if your only son was suffering from a terminal to progressive, no treatment no cure, chronic pain disease! We are after 7 years finally just now making up for all of it and providing for Storm and myself perfectly.
NOW Health Canada expects us to stop providing for ourselves - as we have for the past 7 years. We are expected to stop and start paying for cannabis -* the amount Storm would need, according to Health Canada's prediction of prices would be:
10 grams / day @ $5 = $18,200.00/year
@$3 = $10,920.00/year
@ $7 / gram = $25,480.00 < what H.C. suggests.
ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME? - people wonder why I swear. ;)
We can not afford it. Could you?
For something our DG is now producing for pennies?
I think NOT.
Simply because they ASSume, we are all criminals?
I know what I am and it is NOT a criminal.
All cops are Pigs.
All fat people are lazy.
All blonds are dumb.
All priests are pedophiles.
All muslims are terrorists.
All women are easy.
All men are assholes.
All politicians are criminals .. (hmmmmmmmm - verdict not yet in on this one.)
^ALL WRONG! ^ All negative, uneducated stigmas/stereo types.
This is no exception. It is wrong.
Criminals? Gardeners!? That is what they are!
GROWING A PLANT. A human right.
How we have survived - forever.
Who are you?!
I hope I have inspired more to do the same or at least THINK about it. We are powerful. We are Not criminals and we deserve the right to provide for ourselves as we have been for years. < Thanks to Health Canada.
On FB and it hit me. Overwhelmed. Tired. GET OFF. That voice in my head? That gut feeling... that little poke, poke, poke. Anyhow time out I guess. I have a friend who I know loves me comment on a photo I posted. She said you look tired, thin and stressed. ;-(
Cannabis, A PLANT should be the least of our f&^%$G worries. I say OUR as in OUR-
you and me and him and her! Don't we all have stuff to focus on. Like the health and happiness of ourselves and our families?
Time for ME to focus. Let God speak to me without all the distractions for a few days. I am listening. I am going to practice peace.
I will post one cartoon daily on my blog
The toon speaks for itself:
When I do dishes I think.
When I am having a hard time I like to do the dishes. It is like a mini spa for my hands and brain. I had to draw a sad Hunny cartoon because I am sad. I miss her like mad. I need to get it out of my brain and on paper. I started one and could not finish it. Not yet anyhow. I was doing dishes today and said this out loud. "I miss 'that' kind of love.." The kind of love Hunny gave me. I could do no wrong! She was never angry with me, disappointed in me or judged me. She LOVED me.
Was always there. SHE was like my little shadow. Literally.
I realized today it is so quiet because I do not here the little clicks oh her nails as she follows me from room to room. She is not jumping on the bed trying to lure me to nap and snuggle, she is not litting between my legs as I read my book in the living room, she is not under my feet as I draw, she is not following my every step out in the back yard while we look for balls in backyard for Tequila. She is not downstairs with me while I clean my baby's apt. She is not here. I AM MISSING HER.
So from now on when you see the title Doing Dishes.. The cartoons are not always happy, but more to get it out. To have unconditional love and know it and then - it's gone. Then I had a bit of a light bulb moment...I thought of God. Trust in me as I trust in you. God Loves me. Unconditionally.Why is this so hard to remember. This is my goodbye Hunny. Tequila and Scruffy are missing her too. ;-( xox night